Healthy Boundaries in Christian Reltionships

"So a painful problem was given to me...
I begged the Lord three times to take this problem away from me...

But the Lord said to me,
'My grace is enough for you.

When you are weak,
then my power is made perfect in you...

Then Christ's power can live in me.'"

2 Corinthians 12:7-9 International Children's Bible

Kind of a weird take on these verses but I was struck by the thought

His grace is enough for me

for me

not for me and the problems of another person that I am so intertwined with that I am taking on as my own

Many times the Holy Spirit has to prompt, encourage, speak to us to stretch out and care for another besides myself

But to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships

at this time, and in this particular relationship

I believe the Holy Spirit is saying to see the line where only God can work in this

in that person  I love almost more than life iteself.

His grace is only given to me

to believe Him and not despair
to respond in love and hope
kindness and grace

NO MATTER WHAT

God has grace
abundant grace
for that person too
for what they are facing and grappling with

but that must come between God and them

I can only seek and find God's grace for me

and let Christ have his way in me

and seek to love them with His love

and not my own


granting them all freedom

this is the only way to be free myself

from all that is driving  me

to seek to grasp and control

paralyzing fear

NO

let God be God

I am not

He has grace for me in this

Only He can be enough for me

He wants to pour into me

pour through me

but I must acknowledge His rightful place

and mine


to be the recipient of His grace

the learner

the trusting

the abiding

the waiting in confidence of who He is

not that I know or can really influence anything

knowing He loves me

He loves them

I can worship who he is
and love him
right here
right now
and leave all else in His hands.

pouring out all my fears
desires
concerns
thoughts
grief
all my soul
to Him who is touched with all the feelings of our infirmity
to Him who alone is able to do
exceedingly above and beyond all that we ask or think

to Him who loves us to the end
to Him who says,
"Nothing is too hard for me"

"Let not your heart be troubled
You believe in God,
believe in me." John 14:1

"I will not leave you comfortless,
I will come to you" John 14:18

"Remain in me and I will remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit alone.
It must remain in the vine.
It is the same with you.
You cannot produce fruit alone,
You must remain in me.
I am the vine and you are the branhes.
If a person remains in me and I in him,
then he produces much fruit."  John 15:4-5

"the fruit of the Spirit is
love
joy 
peace
patience
goodness
faithfulness 
gentleness
self-control..."
Galations 5:22


Shine your light in me
I love you Lord

Dining with the King

"Now Jonathan son of Saul had a son who was crippled in both feet.  His name was Mephibosheth.  He was five years old when the news came from Jezreel that Saul and Jonathan were dead.  Mephibosheth's nurse picked him up and ran away.
But as she hurried to leave, he fell and became crippled."
2 Samuel 4:4


"Mephibosheth, Jonathan's son, came before David and bowed facedown on the floor.

David said, "Mephibosheth!"

Mephibosheth said, "I am your servant."

David said to him, :"Don't be afraid. I will be kind to you for your father Jonathan's sake.  I will give you back all the land of your grandfather Saul. And you will always be able to eat at my table."

...so Mephibosheth ate at the David's table like one of the king's sons

"....Mephibosheth was crippled in both feet. He lived in Jerusalem and always ate at the king's table."

2 Samuel 9: 6-7; 11, 13 International Children's Bible

"Mephibosheth was crippled in both feet.
He lived in Jersusalem and always ate at the king's table."

2 Samuel 9:13

What a beautiful picture of God's grace intersecting with human need. 

Mephibosheth had a need. 

In the midst of one tragedy, another had occurred

a young man bore the effects of this the rest of his life

It limited and restricted  him 

and made it impossible for him to provide for himself or take care of others

What about in my life where there is genuine weakness and need?

not as the result of any sin

and not taken away or healed in this life

the state of his feet never changed

the rest of his life



But he was invited to live in full provision and privilege

not because of anything he had done, would do, or even could ever do

not because of who he was

but because of his relationship with another  "kindness for Jonathan's sake"


He lived the rest of his days 

cared for

provided for

treated with honor, respect and dignity

included in this community

at every meal,  a place at the table, just for him

It was always there

A fresh meal

delicious and nourishing

prepared for him

served to him



Oh Lord, thank you

How to live when there is genuine need and weakness

the kind that does not change or improve with time

that you do not take away or heal in this present time

is to feast at your table

I am invited because of your Son

I have a place there because of who He is and what He has done 

I can have a relationship with Him and be a part of this family because of His great love



Every day

Several times a day

You have prepared what I need

to replenish

to nourish

to refresh

to provide and bless and delight

It is there by no merit or effort of my own

provided by the bounty of another


Let me come 

Let me be brought to you 

to feast

to commune

to find all that I need in you


Help me to not stay away

to not shut you out in my pain, fear or shame

but to believe, 
to come 
to receive
to enjoy
to bless you

Like all good things, fine dining does take time
it cannot be rushed
there is no drive thru for the soul

that is all that is required of me 
not to miss the nourishment you have prepared
to soak my soul in your presence
in your words

the funny thing about my physical body is that even after a wonderfully rich and full meal, 
in a few hours, I am hungry again
what has been given has been processed and put to use

In times when the need is persistent and intense
I need to come to bare my soul to you often
to receive all that you have prepared
to drink it all in
to the last drop

not to do this is to be crushed and to despair

the meals prepared for Mephiboseth were rich and frequent
multiple times a day
day by day

Praise you, I will never weary you
coming to you often and repeated
being filled by you
drinking deep of your love and grace
quieted and calmed by your beauty and power

Praise you Lord


 "Come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
Mathew 11:28

"On that day Jerusalem will be told, 'Don't be afraid, city of Jerusalem.
Don't be discouraged that you can't do anything. 
The Lord your God is with you. 
The mighty One will save you.
The Lord will be happy with you. 
You will rest in his love. 
He will sing and be joyful about you.'"

Zephaniah 3:16b-17 International Children's Bible


"David said to him, :"Don't be afraid. I will be kind to you for your father Jonathan's sake.
  I will give you back all the land of your grandfather Saul. 
 And you will always be able to eat at my table."

...so Mephibosheth ate at the David's table like one of the king's sons

"....Mephibosheth was crippled in both feet. 
He lived in Jerusalem and always ate at the king's table."

2 Samuel 9: 7, 11, 13 



related verses:

"I begged the Lord three times to take this problem away from me.  But the Lord said to me, 'My grace is enough for you.  When you are weak, then my power is made perfect in you.'"

2 Corinthians 12 8-9a


"Christ died for us while we were still weak.
 We were living against God,
but at the right time, Christ died for us.
Very few people will die to save the life of someone else.
Although perhaps for a good man someone might possibly die.

But Christ died for us while we were still sinners.
 In this way God shows his great love for us.
We have been made right with God by the blood of Christ's death."

Romans 5 :6-9a



"The Lord says, "All you who are thirsty, come and drink.
Those of you who do not have money,
come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk.
You don't need money: it will cost you nothing.

Why spend your money on something that is not real food?
Why work for something that doesn't really satisfy you?

Listen closely to me, and you will eat what is good.
You will enjoy the food that satisfies your soul.

Come so me and listen.
Listen to me so you may live forever."

Isaiah 55:1-3