Sunday, November 30, 2014

Integrity

(There are so many powerful issues raised by this tragic interchange of two people - the lesson I am seeking to absorb is not meant in any way to trivialize or gloss over any of the deep questions this situation raises. It is just one small thought that has impacted and helped me to change)

Darren Wilson,
simply had no idea that confronting two boys walking down the middle of a street would end up so profoundly changing his life
ending his job,
putting him on trial
nationwide even international attention

Michael Brown
had no idea that taking cigarillos from the corner store and encountering a lone man in a car would make any real impact on his day
let alone his life

who knew?

Proverbs 27:1New International Version

27 Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring.

New International Version - UK (NIVUK)

if either of them could have known or seen the earth-shattering impact of choices made in relative obscurity and minutia would it have made any difference?

Take home lesson among many
so much of my life can seem mundane, trivial, obscure

I cannot even imagine having the intense scrutiny that this unfortunate and tragic interchange has brought upon these two individuals, their families, their communities, their town, this nation etc.

When I am home with my children...
Would I act differently if another adult was there to observe?
How would I act if several people were there?
or even my whole neighborhood?
or my whole town?

what if I was being filmed for the world over to scrutinize and replay over and over again and discuss?

Integrity is being exactly the same in all of these situations
because God is always watching
God always sees me

People have a wide variety of opinions, perspectives, responses
but
God always sees and God knows

not just what I do
but why

nothing can be hid or disguised from Him

Living for an audience of One

If I live with God in view
if I live knowing God has me in view

what would that change?

my attitude
the why of what I do
seeking to love Him who has loved me first
by showing practical love
to those He has put right here in front of me

seeing them as the opportunity God has given
to both know His love and grace working in me
and to extend it to them.

Believing that only through Jesus
am I or any one else, brought into this wonderful relationship
with the Living and all powerful and all loving God

That I deserve nothing, worse than nothing

and therefore can show His love and grace to anyone

Inner Transformation working outwards
how this changes my demeanor and tone and how I interact with my children, my spouse, my neighbors
the employee I have to interact with to get the window in my house repaired

to see each one as You see them
loved, desired, understood, longing to bless and comfort and save

how do I see these people?
how do I treat them?

how do I see that sink of dirty dishes
that pile of laundry
that bathroom that needs cleaning

meaningless,
trivial
mundane
obscure
something to avoid
or rush through to get to more 'meaningful' activities elsewhere?

Luke 16:10New King James Version (NKJV)

10 He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.

New King James Version (NKJV)

Luke 16:10New International Version (NIV)

10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.

New International Version (NIV)

This is reality

How do I think, act ,interact and respond when someone I care about
or at least want to think well of me
is watching?

How do I - when I think no one is watching?

what would I do differently if I knew ahead of time that the tiny details of my day were going to be broadcast and scrutinized and discussed by millions?

this is reality with God
to be the same with or without
to live before His gaze only

an audience of one

this will keep me
this will transform me
this will bring me to my knees
to seek Jesus for the kind of deep, transforming and pervasive change He has wanted to do all along

"Faithful in little; Faithful in much"

Oh Lord,
help me to know you are here with me
you have given me these tasks and no one else
you see all
you see my motives and my heart
you are never confused or unaware or unsure of what is going on with me
within me

Help me to be
to do,
to be in relationships
as you want
as you will enable

whether anyone one else sees or doesn't see
You do see me
You see what I do
You see what I want

I want You
this is life changing and powerful
for me
and for all with whom my life intersects

This is opportunity on a grand scale
let me not believe the lies
that what lies before me is inconsequential
trivial
meaningless
drudgery

it is opportunity
to find YOU
to know YOU
to be changed
to know more of YOU
to know more of YOU in me
in my home
in my family
in my day

help me not to be driven to seek what you have not given at this time from others
such as attention, affirmation, approval

help me to seek and find You
right here and right now
in this place and time where I am

knowing I am not alone
but You are with me

Hebrews 13:5-6New International Version (NIV)

5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have,because God has said,

“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”[a]

6 So we say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?”[b]

Footnotes:

Hebrews 13:5 Deut. 31:6
Hebrews 13:6 Psalm 118:6,7

New International Version (NIV)

1 Corinthians 10:31New International Version (NIV)

31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

New International Version (NIV)

Colossians 3:23J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

Whatever you do, put your whole heart and soul into it, as into work done for God, and not merely for men—knowing that your real reward, a heavenly one, will come from God, since you are actually employed by Christ,...

J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

J. B. Phillips, "The New Testament in Modern English", 1962 edition by HarperCollins

Monday, November 10, 2014

Legacy

Today I sat down to go through my mom's little yellow box of addresses and phone numbers.
It has been in my kitchen on the counter now for almost 3 years unexplored, one of the last tangible items left after her passing over 30 years ago.

So much else that she touched, loved, created, cared for and invested herself in has, like her body passed on. But this little box remains.

When the dust has settled thirty years past my own passing, what will remain?
What will be my own legacy?

As I open the box, the first item to present itself is a poem entitled 'Friendship'.
what follows is the plastic packet, now yellowed with age, that was in her wallet and contained her driver's license and a few precious photos.

after that are 3x5 cards neatly handwritten with each person's name and contact info.
Most cards have handwritten notes on significant dates: marriages, births etc.

Many of these names I recognize as the persons my mom invested her time and life into nurturing and maintaining healthy and vibrant relationships with.

Behind these I find about 30-40 small cards, each one again handwritten and announcing the birth or adoption of a child. She had received these in the mail and kept them all.

Some blank 3x5 cards and I have reached the end of the box.

This box is my mom's legacy. It contains a lifetime of people, and time spent together and lives intertwined and shared with one another.

To me, in the midst of raising children, maintaining a household and all the hectic details that this involves, so much clamoring for my attention, my time and energy, this little box is a reminder that so much of what I am frantically preoccupied and focused on today, will, with the passing of time, fade into oblivion.
What will remain?

When I remember my mom, I remember a lot of things, but mostly not so much things
the food she made for us
the home she made a place to feel safe, cared for and loved
the way she spent time listening to me and interacting with me
the friends that filled her days with joy and companionship
the crafts she liked to make

If her life was measured by many of the standards considered by so many as valuable such as beauty, longevity or
what the world defines as significant accomplishment
she did nothing significant

But she lived in love to those God placed in her sphere
She never had the opportunity to travel abroad
or 'do minisry' across the sea
not to diminish this, it is a wonderful opportunity and should be taken if any possiblity exist to do so
but she lived in love where she was
she made time for those near her
she invested her life
not in ambition or esteem or such
but in quiet care
a listening ear
a helping hand
a sincere inquiry
a homemade meal

This is her legacy
To have believed the love of God for her through Jesus Christ
and to seek to love those in front of her by his grace alone and giving him all the glory

Oh, Lord
may I not be distracted from what is eternal and lasting by what is temporary and clamoring
Help me to find all my burning need met in you
right here
in this place
with these people
to be filled with your love and to love them as you have loved me
This is a lasting legacy

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind;

love does not envy;

love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own,

is not provoked, thinks no evil;

6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails...

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three;

but the greatest of these is love.

Footnotes:

1 Corinthians 13:3 NU-Text reads so I may boast. I Corinthians 13:1-8a, 13 NKJV

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Babel and Confusion to Peace ,Rest and community

babel = confusion

see Genesis 11:1-5 at

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+11

different languages are cool

but people stopped being able to understand each other

they had different ways of trying to express ________that the other
could no longer read correctly anymore

misinterpretation
misunderstandings
confusion
bewilderment
hurt and anger
fear and rejection

does this not sum up the human condition?

unable to connect
to build community

we fracture
and all progess is at a standstill

we just abandon our great project and move on elsewhere
hoping to find something new that might work somewhere else

giving up on each other
on this relationship
on this person

forget it - this is hopeless
I never understand her
he never understands me..

"God is against the proud but he gives grace to the humble" Proverbs 3:34 ICB

"So, be humble under God's powerful hand.
Then he will lift you up when the right time comes.
Give all your worries to him because he cares for you."
I Peter 5:6-7 ICB

Jesus Christ died to deliver us from our terrible self-centered pride
the 'I don't need to listen to you' within

If I am just willing to not deflect the situations and persons he is using to show me my need of Him
not blaming circumstances and everyone around me

willing to be shown my greatest problem is my ignoring of you

Yes, Lord I say those very hard words
you are right
and I am in the wrong
I need you
please help me

Oh praise you,
you sweep in like an overwhelming flood of care and comfort when you hear these simple words
let me be quick to say them
let me say them often

You do not trample me or despise me in my vulnerabilty and need
you say
I CARE FOR YOU

I am here
tell me all your heart
all your worries
all your concerns
all your sorrow and sadness
all your longings and desires

you care for me

what wonderful news

I do not have to try to be God and make things happen the way I think they should

You are God and I can come to you at any time and tell you everything

help me to bring and leave all my burdens with you

and to love others in this same way

they are safe here

they are cared for

they are helped

"Do not be a ruler over people you are responsible for.
be good examples to them.
Then when Christ, the Head Shepherd comes, you will get a crown.
This crown will be glorious and it will never lose it's beauty.
....And all of you should be very humble with each other.
'God is against the proud,
but he gives grace to the humble' Prov 3:34"

I Peter 5:3-5 ICB

Ephesians 2:1-8Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

From Death to Life

2 And you were dead in your trespasses and sins 2 in which you previously walked according to the ways of this world, according to the ruler who exercises authority over the lower heavens,[a] the spirit now working in the disobedient.[b] 3 We too all previously lived among them in our fleshly desires, carrying out the inclinations of our flesh and thoughts, and we were by nature children under wrath as the others were also. 4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us,[c] 5 made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. You are saved by grace! 6 Together with Christ Jesus He also raised us up and seated us in the heavens, 7 so that in the coming ages He might display the immeasurable riches of His grace through His kindnessto us in Christ Jesus. 8 For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—

Footnotes:

Ephesians 2:2 Lit ruler of the domain of the air
Ephesians 2:2 Lit sons of disobedience
Ephesians 2:4 Lit love with which He loved us

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

13 But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away have been brought near by the blood of the Messiah. 14 For He is our peace, who made both groups one and tore down the dividing wall of hostility.

Epesians 2:13-14 (HCSB)

Ephesians 4:15King James Version (KJV)

15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

King James Version (KJV)

by Public Domain

this is the way

accepting your truth about who I am and how much I need you

being willing to speak truthfully and kind and loving and helpfully

this is what builds us up into Christ

builds up relationships

builds up a community where Christ can be seen and honored and glorified

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Loving You is significant

"He sees me"

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Footnotes:

1 Corinthians 13:1 Or languages
1 Corinthians 13:3 Some manuscripts body to the flames

1 Corinthians 13:1-7

The Message (MSG)

The Way of Love

13 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

2 If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

A life of significance

What makes a life meaningful and significant?

What is time well spent?

How do I leave a lasting and meaningful legacy

for when my life is over and done?

Thank you Lord, thank you

I hear you in this passage

Yes, you tell me plainly,  even painfully 

all my so called great accomplishments

acts of devotion and service

sharing of wisdom and experience

are nothing 

without you and your love

no matter what I say

without love it is nothing

worse than nothing

a harsh, grating sound

bringing no pleasure to anyone

not helpful at all

no matter what gifts I have

or how much faith I have

without love

I am nothing at all

it will leave nothing lasting behind

bring no deep transformative change to anyone

no matter how sacrificial I try to be

no matter what I try to give up

no matter what I try to endure

for the sake of others

without your love in it

I have accomplished nothing of true lasting value

without your love in it

these verses seem so harsh,

cutting down so much of what I look to to feel good about myself

and what I have done,

what gifts God has given,

what actions or sacrifices I have tried to make

but there is something so incredibly beautiful and powerful here

If this is true...

then the the other side of the coin must also be true...

When I speak, haltingly, in simple words that could easily be despised by anyone, 

including myself

 for their lack of eloquence, grace, wisdom etc.

If I speak or act in love, whether impressive or knowledgeable 

by anyone's estimation or not

If I am filled with your love

and it moves me to speak or act

what I believe to be your words or actions

your thoughts and way

instead of mine

this is significant

whether it seems so to me

or to whom I am speaking
or to any one at all

whether I feel good or bad about it

whether it seems to make any difference or not

The measure you give us:

is it done in love?

your love

that does not run out

that does not get irritated 

or envious

that is not motivated by the object at all

or what kind of response I may or may not 

get in return

because love is your essential nature

it defines who you are

and everything you do or say

You cause the sun to shine and 

the rain to fall 

on the evil and the good

because that is who you are

"This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty." Matthew 5:45 The Message

You do not love because you will be loved in return

or someone will understand you

or someone will appreciate you

or you believe you will get desirable results

You can enable me to love

anyone

anywhere

anyhow

no matter what I think,

you count this as lasting and significant

So, as I sit here struggling 

I couldn't impress anyone if I tried

Whether those closest to me understand or appreciate me

whether my children rise up to respect

love and appreciate me

or they don't

whether anyone in my neighborhood 

or at my church 

thinks I am _____________ :)

or thinks I am____________ :(

You

are saying:

this is significant

this is lasting

this is meaningful

this will bear lasting fruit

whether you see it 

or understand it 

or not 

right now

because you have done it

unto me

"The King will reply, 'Truly, I tell you,

whatever you did

for one

of the least of these

brothers and sisters of mine,

you did for me.'"

Matthew 25:40NIV

"His master said to him,

 'Well done good and faithful servant.

You have been faithful over a little;

I will set you over much.

Enter into the joy of your Master.'"

Matthew 25:23 ESV

"...The LORD does not look at

the things people look at.

People look at the outward appearance,

but the LORD

looks at the heart."

I Samuel 16:7

"For the eyes of the LORD run

to and fro

throughout the whole earth

to show himself strong 

on behalf of those

whose heart is loyal

to Him..."

II Chronicles 16:9 NKJV

none of us have this heart...

"Create in me a clean heart O God.
 Renew a loyal spirit
within me."
Psalm 51:10 
The Living Bible

but we can cry out to God to do His work within 

to do and give us what we cannot

to give us Joy In You

whether we feel meaningful, significant,

beloved, helpful 

or otherwise

"Though the fig tree 

should not blossom,

And there be no fruit on the vines

Though the yield of the olive shall fail

And the fields produce no food

Though the flock be cut off from the fold

and there be no cattle in the stalls,

Yet, I will exult in the LORD.

I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength.

And he has made my feet like hinds feet.

and makes me walk in my high places."

Habakkuk 3:17-19 NIV

 a gentle pushing back...

for some of us right now

who truly do not have the strength, time or energy to

do what most would consider beautiful and meaningful

 I would love to 

bake with my children

prepare gifts for others

travel to _________

 give _________ to ____________

but really am not able to at this time...

For those who are looking for work

not because the are looking for a career 

that is meaningful and significant

but because the family needs to eat

who may truly need to take a job they do not even like

because the family needs to eat

some of the wonderful and beautiful encouragements 

to find your passion

to those whom there is no one else to hand the baby off to,

to go and ___________

some of these encouragements can, without meaning to

place a burden on the heart

undermine 

without meaning to

the value God places

in the hidden, unseen, mundane,

even the trivial and tedious

done in love for Him

for those who cannot do beautiful craft projects

who can barely keep the children clean and well - fed

whose passion is to have just one night of undisturbed sleep

God sees you

God values you

God can make what you are doing so significant

For those who are shut in caring for the shut in

For those whose health has boxed them in

and put so much out of reach 

For those for whom the care of family 

takes nearly all available resource

God sees you

God values you

God knows what you are doing

out of love for Him

For those who experience severe limitation

in body, soul, mind, spirit

God is not limited to work in you

and through you

to shine His Glory

to fill you 

and use you

for unspeakable 

unimaginable 

good

Oh Lord,
You who have experienced all we do
you who are not a high priest who 
cannot be touched with all the feelings of our infirmity
you know severe pain, loss, grief,
 limitation
death

You who Paul, could say with confidence
I know how to abound and I know how to suffer
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

Help us to not close our hearts to whatever you call us to
whether it be our wildest dreams come true
or the hardest challenge we have ever faced.
Help us to find our joy in you 
and remain there through 
the heights and depths this life 
has to offer

Help us to live in your love
to fully believe and receive your love
in the midst of our exhilarations
our joys, our sorrows
our depletion
our confusion 
our disappointment

Help me to love you 
more than all else 
and know your love
that
abides 
through all else

"we love you because you have first loved us"
I John 4 :10