nor what to do to fix it I would add...
things are broken in me
in my family
in my relationships
and I don't know what is wrong nor what to do about it...
"At the right time,while we were still helpless, Christ died for the ungodly..."
Romans 5:6-11J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)
6-8 And we can see that it was while we were powerless to help ourselves that Christ died for sinful men. In human experience it is a rare thing for one man to give his life for another, even if the latter be a good man, though there have been a few who have had the courage to do it. Yet the proof of God’s amazing love is this: that it was while we were sinners that Christ died for us.
9-11 Moreover, if he did that for us while we were sinners, now that we are men justified by the shedding of his blood, what reason have we to fear the wrath of God? If, while we were his enemies, Christ reconciled us to God by dying for us, surely now that we are reconciled we may be perfectly certain of our salvation through his living in us. Nor, I am sure, is this a matter of bare salvation—we may hold our heads high in the light of God’s love because of the reconciliation which Christ has made.
I am used to thinking of my sin in terms of what I do, or what I have done.
specific acts of wrong that I willingly chose to do
and seek to acknowledge as wrong, not making excuses or deflections or shifting blame elsewhere
But lately I have been seeing not just what I do, but what I am that is fallen, broken, needy and helpless to do what is right
try to really love someone, anyone and I have found, I will see my utter need to be different
to be what I am not but wish to be
to love unconditionally
consistently
patiently
graciously
mercifully
truthfully
kindly
firmly
hopefully
Oh how beautiful you are, that you are all this and more
you are love with pure and simple motives
you are love that is both truthful and truly kind
you are always wise and hopeful and graceful to those in need
even those who do not see their need yet of you
it is here that Jesus meets me
I came not for the righteous but for the sinners to call them to repentance
to real change, deep inner transformation
the kind we cannot make happen in ourselves or anyone else
to turn around, go in a new direction, to be and life differently
to desire differently
to love differently
to be full of your light
12 Later, Jesus spoke to the people again and said, “I am the light of the world. The man who follows me will never walk in the dark but will live his life in the light.”You are that light that can shine in any darkness
darkness within without
shine oh lord in the midst of my darkness shine forth your beauty your glory
for you are beautiful and wonderful
awesome and amazing
there is none like you
James 1:17J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)
17-18 But every good endowment that we possess and every complete gift that we have received must come from above, from the Father of all lights, with whom there is never the slightest variation or shadow of inconsistency. By his own wish he made us his own sons through the Word of truth that we might be, so to speak, the first specimens of his new creation.
John 1:5J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)
Prologue
1 1-5 At the beginning God expressed himself. That personal expression, that word, was with God, and was God, and he existed with God from the beginning. All creation took place through him, and none took place without him. In him appeared life and this life was the light of mankind. The light still shines in the darkness and the darkness has never put it out.
there is darkness
real darkness
inside of me
around me
in this world
I may be experiencing darkness right now
but it will not always be so
I may not feel or experience you fully now but I will
Isaiah 9:2New International Version (NIV)
2 The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned.
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned.
not just sinful in what I do actions
but in who I am
deeply deeply flawed
deeply deeply loved
only by your grace am I aware of these two truths
deep need
deep grace
finding you in the mystery of suffering, disappointment and desire
the conundrums of life
my own longings are so strong
what I wish for is not wrong
but I am exalting my desires over you
this is my idolatry
this is my lust
my covetousness
but there is relief in just saying it identifying it
you know what is wrong and you know what I need
tell you what I feel
tell you what I so earnest;y want
you know what I need
you are not guessing you are not shooting in the dark and experimenting
what I need most is you
whether I get what I want or not
whether it works out how I want or not
I always have you
I need you more
you are amazing how you press right in that tender spot
right where I have hidden pain and need
where it is obscure and unclear to all but you
you see clearly, tenderly, truthfully
right where I need you the most
Romans 5:6-11The Message (MSG)
6-8 Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
9-11 Now that we are set right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way. If, when we were at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we’re at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of his resurrection life! Now that we have actually received this amazing friendship with God, we are no longer content to simply say it in plodding prose. We sing and shout our praises to God through Jesus, the Messiah!
prayer - to just come before you
whatever the situation
whatever my state
whatever the need
walk in light
come before you
tell you all - every detail, every longing, every desire
YOU have made this relationship safe and secure
not because of me, but in spite of me
I can come to you, ABBA Father, Daddy God
tell you all
open all my heart
all my pain
all my joys
all my sorrows
all my desires
to you
You may not give me what I want
but you will always give me yourself
right here and now
I love you Lord
from Fr. Rohr 7/6/14 : "For most of human history God was not a likable, much less lovable, character. That’s why every “theophany” in the Bible (an event where God breaks through into history) begins with the same words, “Do not be afraid!” Why? Because people have always been afraid of God—and afraid of themselves, as a result.
Humanity did not expect love from God before the biblical revelation. Even today most humans feel that God’s love and attention must be earned, and then we deeply resent that process, just as we do with our parents. In my experience, most people are still into fearing God and controlling God instead of loving God. They never really knew mutual love was possible, given the power equation. When one party has all the power—which is most people’s very definition of God—all you can do is fear and try to control.
The only way fear can be dispelled is for God, from God’s side, to change the power equation and invite us into a world of mutuality and vulnerability. Our living image of that power change is called Jesus! In him, God took the initiative to overcome our fear and our need to manipulate God and made honest divine relationship possible. This unthinkable relationship is already planted in human consciousness with the Jewish idea of “covenant love.” Walter Brueggemann lists a “credo of five adjectives” that continually recurs in the Hebrew Scriptures: this God that Israel—and Jesus—discovered is consistently seen to be “merciful, gracious, faithful, forgiving, and steadfast in love.” The people who really know this to be true for themselves are those who sincerely seek, pray, and often, suffer."
more great verses on this theme http://www.openbible.info/topics/darkness
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