Relationship Over Results

one of the worst whispers of the devil
is that what I am doing is pointless
accomplishing nothing
of no purpose at all

one of his most painful lies
is that my life is just a random occurrence
and a series of senseless happenings
no rhyme or reason
no purpose or intent

the other extreme can be just as painful
Believing God has personally and specifically orchestrated each and every word, action or event
easy to believe when i like what is happening
very painful to believe when the tragedy of human life hits me full on.

Trying to live in the tension of believing in a Sovereign and loving God
who is all powerful and all knowing and all loving
with the reality of experiencing life in a fallen world with broken beings capable of failure and sin and selfishness and cruelty.

And the seemingly randomness of events and happinstances

One day, God told a certain to go outside and push on a rock.
So, she did as he directed
she pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed
with all of her heart and all of her focus she pushed.

At the end of the day, she went before the Lord:
"Lord, I have pushed and pushed and the rock has not moved at all.
Not even the tiniest of movement has occured in any direction."

"My precious daughter," said the Lord, "I did not ask you to move the rock.
 I only asked you to push on it. You have done all that I have asked you to do. "

I relate with this little parable, because I find when I look for results in what I believe God wants me to be doing, I am easily discouraged or confused or disilllusioned

sometimes the things you seem to be doing or asking me to do seem to be pointless and futile

Then I looked, and there before me was the Lamb, standing on Mount Zion, and with him 144,000 who had his name and his Father’s name written on their foreheads. 2 And I heard a sound from heaven like the roar of rushing waters and like a loud peal of thunder. The sound I heard was like that of harpists playing their harps. 3 And they sang a new song before the throne and before the four living creatures and the elders. No one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth. 4 These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they remained virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever he goes. They were purchased from among mankind and offered as firstfruits to God and the Lamb. 5 No lie was found in their mouths; they are blameless.

Rev 14:1-4 NIV

There is much I do not understand completely about this passage but it encourages me.
I see what you are getting Lord,  you are getting persons that love you
only by your grace and the sacrificial death of Jesus
but here are persons that love you

They have the Father's name on their foreheads
it is who they focus on
who they love
who they are becoming more and more like

you are everything to them

This is so beautiful
I want to be this

it lifts my focus from looking for objective results in the here and now
to yourself and what you deeply desire

those who love you



it is so easy to focus on results

coming to you as some giant ATM

punch the right buttons and what you want comes out

you have the resource  boundless and infinite
amen praise you Lord

but i don't want to be known by what I do for someone and neither do you

you want to be known and loved for who you are

sometimes the things you seem to be doing or asking me to do seem pointless and futile

but you are getting firstfruits for yourself

help me to let you have the big picture of what it all means
and for me to just draw near to you at all times

to know you and be known of you
to listen to you and to trust you

to the best of my ability and knowledge, do the things I believe you want me to

trusting all the results to you.

Knowing that you are my reward and by your grace I will be yours

I can always pour out all my desires and longings and expectations and the results I long for
to you

You will pour your heart into me and give me your desires and YOU

This is what my heart truly longs for and what you desire as well.

When they are making a mirror for a telescope it is the random action of rubbing it in an overall irregular motion that actually makes the mirror perfectly shaped to reflect.
Yes, Lord I trust you, even in the seemingly random motions of this life, that you are polishing a smooth surface to reflect you more and more clearly.

Amen