higher ground

The warnings came

in the night

my phone buzzing incessantly

Heavy rainfall

Flash flood imminent

Get to higher ground



the disturbing reality

you are not safe where you are

where you most feel safe

you are not


where it seems these alerts
are just an annoyance
a disturbance


where all seems okay

where i feel that i can and should rest


i need to move from


from the structure

i have taken refuge in for so long


it cannot hold

it is not strong enough

it will not hold

even the ground itself is not going to remain


it will crumble

and be swept away

get to higher ground


get to higher ground
get to higher ground

where is higher ground?

how do I know what is higher?

what is the way there?

how do I move there?

"When my heart is overwhelmed within me,
lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Psalm 61:2 KJV

You alone
are that rock
that is higher

You alone are that
firm
unmovable
unchanging
unconquerable
rock

When the storms of life
hit my burn scars

and all gives way at once

into a rushing
moving
torrent
of destuction

that nothing human can withstand

move me
to higher ground

to refuge in you alone


When the raw truth
of human inadequacy
and need is revealed
in a moment

When all I know and depend on
is swept away
in a moment

lead me O Lord
to higher ground in you

You are the very highest
You are the most firm
You are our only rock
that can withstand
and endure

it is so uncomfortable
to stand in my need

in the reality of just how great my need is

to have all illusionary
structures and defences
swept away

to be left standing here
so powerless
so vulnerable

to the ravages of human existence
and to the reality

of my deep need of you

Help me to not run from this place
of deep and abiding reality

I am not higher ground
I cannot make higher ground
others can love and care and support
in such beautiful
and loving and amazing ways
but they cannot be that higher ground
either

for myself
or anyone I love
and so desperately
want to be safe

"When my heart is overwhelmed within me,
lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Psalm 61:2  KJV

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of Yahweh, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
    my God, in whom I trust.”...
3 
4 He will cover you with his feathers.
    Under his wings you will take refuge.
    His faithfulness is your shield and rampart.
Psalm 91:1-2, 4

This does not mean I will necessarily be shielded from the ravages and sufferings of human existence
Jesus himself did not refuse the suffering of being human and all that this entails
a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief

I believe it does mean
that God himself
Who He Is

That will not change
That He will be with me in whatever it is I will experience

that even when it comes time for me to die
and let go of everything

a time when truly
no one else can help me at all

that you will be there

that you will take me to Yourself

that you will carry me in your bosom

You will bring me home

to Yourself

"When my heart is overwhelmed within me, 
Lead me to the rock, that is higher than I."
Psalm 61;2

talking to God

Psalm 130The Message (MSG)

A Pilgrim Song

130 1-2 Help, God—the bottom has fallen out of my life!
    Master, hear my cry for help!
Listen hard! Open your ears!
    Listen to my cries for mercy.

What is it that is hurting right now?

talk to God about it

write / journal

tell him all about it

What is troubling?

"Casting all your care upon him

because he cares for you"

I Peter 5:7

He is not wearied by you

He is glad to listen to you 

He understands you 

the very depths of you

He knows everything about you and what is going on

He is near and waiting to hear from you

He is not deterred or disgusted by your weakness

your problems

your weakness and lack

your wrong choices

3-4 If you, God, kept records on wrongdoings,
    who would stand a chance?
As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit,
    and that’s why you’re worshiped.

Is there anything you want to confess to Him?

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us

and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  I John 1:9

Worship Him:

He longs to forgive

longs to renew

longs to restore

longs to bring healing and hope

peace and love

to any one 

ANY ONE

Write what you are seeing of God now?

5-6 I pray to God—my life a prayer—
    and wait for what he’ll say and do.
My life’s on the line before God, my Lord,
    waiting and watching till morning,
    waiting and watching till morning.

Talk / Write / Pray

What is on your heart?

What are you concerned about?

What would you like to talk to God about?

He is patient

He is kind and compassionate

He is merciful and understanding

He cares for you

7-8 O Israel, wait and watch for God—
    with God’s arrival comes love,
    with God’s arrival comes generous redemption.
No doubt about it—he’ll redeem Israel,
    buy back Israel from captivity to sin.

Praise Him 

He will work 

I may not see how until I go to be with Him

but I know who He is and I know He is working

I can rest in that

Amen

The Message (MSG)

Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Talking to God out of the depths

Psalm 130The Message (MSG)

A Pilgrim Song

130 1-2 Help, God—the bottom has fallen out of my life!
    Master, hear my cry for help!
Listen hard! Open your ears!
    Listen to my cries for mercy.

3-4 If you, God, kept records on wrongdoings,
    who would stand a chance?
As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit,
    and that’s why you’re worshiped.

5-6 I pray to God—my life a prayer—
    and wait for what he’ll say and do.
My life’s on the line before God, my Lord,
    waiting and watching till morning,
    waiting and watching till morning.

7-8 O Israel, wait and watch for God—
    with God’s arrival comes love,
    with God’s arrival comes generous redemption.
No doubt about it—he’ll redeem Israel,
    buy back Israel from captivity to sin.

The Message (MSG)

Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

"Out of the depths I cry unto you..." Psalm 130:1 KJV

This is the cry of the psalmist and it echoes the cry of our my own heart

God does not ask me to pray politely or even properly

He welcomes the deep cry of my heart

He does not tell me to try to be strong 

to keep my emotions at bay

He welcomes me 

He invites me to come 
and be known and loved 
when I am at my lowest and worst

"God is near to all who call upon him

to all who call upon him in truth" Psalm 145:18 NIV


Truth

God is true 

to come to him 

I must come in truth

I do not need to try to cover up or hide what is not hidden to Him

He already knows the truth

about me

the depth of my need

what I do wrong

what I think and feel that is not loving or kind or positive

this is all painfully clear to him

when I am willing to be honest about these things as well

He is there

Forgiveness

If you, God, kept records on wrongdoings,
    who would stand a chance?
As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit,
    and that’s why you’re worshiped. Psalm 130:3-4

God is both ruthlessly honest 

and kind, understanding and merciful and forgiving

He is not like anyone else I know

I do not need to pretend I am anything other than who I truly am

Knowing the depth of my great need

He sent His only and greatly beloved Son, Jesus Christ

to make a way for me to know and be known by him

to have a relationship with Him that is not based on anything I am or could do

A relationship based entirely upon who He is and what he has already done

That’s what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others’ sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God.  I Peter 3:18 The Message

18 Christ himself died for you. And that one death paid for your sins. He was not guilty, but he died for those who are guilty. He did this to bring you all to God. His body was killed, but he was made alive in the spirit. I Peter 3:18 ICB

Wonder 

If I am being honest with myself and God 
and I am willing to hear and absorb the truth He presents to me 
through His words in the Bible

I will come to worship

because He is amazing and wonderful 

completely beyond all I can imagine and even comprehend

Whatever my circumstances or state

He wants to be known

He wants to be near to me

He wants to bring me near to Him


Deep calls to Deep

This psalm is evidence that I can begin to express and articulate my pain

my anger 

my sadness

my bitterness and discontent

whatever is in the depths

may be cried out

to Him

In any circumstance or state

I can come to Him 

and commune with Him in the depths of my being

Deep calls unto deep

When the pain is prolonged

is intricate and tangled and complex

and has no clear or immediate trajectory of change

I can come again and again to Him to pour out my soul 

to articulate and put into words all that I am feeling and thinking


Talking to Him

Talk to God in the pain

the bewilderment

the loss

the grief

the disappointment

the anger

the sadness

This psalm is given to show us how to pray 

God is near to the crushed 

and the broken

We can cry out to God from the depths of our being

in the depths of our pain 

When my heart is overwhelmed

lead me to the rock that is higher than I Psalm 61:2 KJV

Psalm 61:2Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

2 I call to You from the ends of the earth
when my heart is without strength.
Lead me to a rock that is high above me,

He is that rock

that alone is secure and unchanging

all else is transitory and fleeting


Trust

I pray to God—my life a prayer—
    and wait for what he’ll say and do.
My life’s on the line before God, my Lord,
    waiting and watching till morning,
    waiting and watching till morning. Psalm 130:5-6 

It is a very painful to truth to realize
      that I am completely powerless
      to effect deep lasting change 
     and transformation
     in myself or any one else 


my life a prayer


what else is there but to keep baring my soul to God
to keep talking with Him
to be in relationship with Him

to trust Him to work his amazing work

in ways I cannot now see or understand now

but I can know Him
in the midst 

not watching what is distressing me
but watching for Him
waiting for Him to do what I cannot

What He is doing is inviting me into a relationship with Him
right here and now
where I am today

Weeping may endure for a night
but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5 KJV

5 His anger lasts only a moment.
    But his kindness lasts for a lifetime.
Crying may last for a night.
    But joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5 ICB

those who trust in Him are not put to shame in the end

Hope

O Israel, wait and watch for God—

    with God’s arrival comes love,

    with God’s arrival comes generous redemption.

No doubt about it—he’ll redeem Israel,

    buy back Israel from captivity to sin. Psalm 130: 7-8

Yes, Lord, 

help me to watch for you

you want to redeem and recover

you want to free me from all that I cannot free myself 

you want to give me Yourself

with your arrival comes love into the depths of my being
and through me into this situation 
this relationship

changing me from the inside out

Praise you O Lord!