nothing outstanding from anyone else
wanting the same things that anyone else wants
to be loved and cared for and accepted
to be valued and able to do something meaningful and helpful
to be valued and be a part of something significant beyond myself
I felt like God was someone far away impossible to please and a heavy task master
exacting heavy burdens with no help at all
in situations that would not change
I tried to do the right thing but could not
I was never satisfied because I could never seem to do enough
I was anxious and fearful all of the time
I felt isolated and alone
even going to church and biblestudy and being involved in serving others
I tried to be compassionate and care for those within reach around me and even far away
it was exhausting and never ending
i did not have the resource to even keep myself together let alone really help anyone else.
the need of others around me was just as deep as my own
even my best efforts were a few drops into a bottomless bucket
I read book after book and they were helpful and true but seemed to just scratch the surface of my life
deep down how I thought and functioned remained stubbornly the same
Despair became a daily struggle
why was God so hard on me
why didn't he help me
why didnt he change me
or my circumstances or other people
I prayed and tried to give thanks and be grateful
and this also did help but it did not bring about deep lasting transformation
As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead!
2 Corinthians 1:9 The Message
7 ...if you have to suffer troubles as we have done, then, like us, you will find the comfort and encouragement of God.
Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity
8-11 We should like you, our brothers, to know something of what we went through in Asia. At that time we were completely overwhelmed, the burden was more than we could bear, in fact we told ourselves that this was the end. Yet we believe now that we had this experience of coming to the end of our tether that we might learn to trust, not in ourselves, but in God who can raise the dead. 2 Corinthians 1:7-9 Phillips
8 Brothers, we want you to know about the trouble we suffered in the country of Asia. We had great burdens there that were greater than our own strength. We even gave up hope for life. 9 Truly, in our own hearts we believed that we would die. But this happened so that we would not trust in ourselves. It happened so that we would trust in God, who raises people from death.
2 Corinthians 1: 8-9 International Children's Bible
My experience resonates deeply with these words written by Paul nearly 2000 years ago
that there is a point to suffering, any suffering and hardship
that it is an opportunity to come to know God in ways I could never otherwise
this is my attempt to share this so you also may be brought into a loving relationship with Him who loves you more than you can ever know
Talking to God out of the depths
1-2 Help, God—the bottom has fallen out of my life!
Master, hear my cry for help!
Listen hard! Open your ears!
Listen to my cries for mercy.
Master, hear my cry for help!
Listen hard! Open your ears!
Listen to my cries for mercy.
Psalm 130:1-2 The Message
"Out of the depths I cry unto you..." Psalm 130:1 KJV
This is the cry of the psalmist and it echoes the cry of my own heart
God does not ask me to pray politely or even properly
He welcomes the deep cry of my heart
He does not tell me to try to be strong
to keep my emotions at bay
He welcomes me
He invites me to come
and be known and loved
when I am at my lowest and worst
and be known and loved
when I am at my lowest and worst
"God is near to all who call upon him
to all who call upon him in truth"
Psalm 145:18 NIV
Pray:
What is it that is hurting right now?
talk to God about it
write / journal / pray
tell him all about it
What is troubling to you?
Where do you need mercy and help?
"Casting all your care upon him
because he cares for you"
I Peter 5:7
He is not wearied by you
He is glad to listen to you
He understands you
the very depths of you
He knows everything about you and what is going on
He is near and waiting to hear from you
He is not deterred or disgusted by your weakness
your problems
your lack
your wrong choices
who you are
Truth
God is true
to come to him
I must come in truth
I do not need to try to cover up or hide what is not hidden to Him
He already knows the truth
about me
the depth of my need
what I do wrong
what I think and feel that is not loving or kind or positive
this is all painfully clear to him
when I am willing to be honest about these things as well
He is there
Forgiveness
If you, God, kept records on wrongdoings,
who would stand a chance?
As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit,
and that’s why you’re worshiped. Psalm 130:3-4
who would stand a chance?
As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit,
and that’s why you’re worshiped. Psalm 130:3-4
God is both ruthlessly honest
and kind, understanding and merciful and forgiving
He is not like anyone else I know
I do not need to pretend I am anything other than who I truly am
Knowing the depth of my great need
He sent His only and greatly beloved Son, Jesus Christ
to make a way for me to know and be known by him
to have a relationship with Him
that is not based on anything I am or could do
A relationship based entirely upon who He is and what he has already done
That’s what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others’ sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God.
I Peter 3:18 The Message
18 Christ himself died for you. And that one death paid for your sins. He was not guilty, but he died for those who are guilty. He did this to bring you all to God. His body was killed, but he was made alive in the spirit. I Peter 3:18 International Children's Bible
Pray:
Is there anything you want to confess to Him?
What is it that you feel ashamed of ?
guilty about?
Don't hold anything back
tell Him all
in detail
there is nothing you need to hide or cover with Him
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us
and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I John 1:9 KJV
Worship Him:
He longs to forgive
longs to renew
longs to restore
longs to bring healing and hope
peace and love
to any one
ANY ONE
Write:
What you are seeing of God now?
Are there any Bible verses or passages that come to mind?
Wonder
If I am being honest with myself and God
and if I am willing to hear and absorb the truth He presents to me
and if I am willing to hear and absorb the truth He presents to me
through His words in the Bible
I will come to worship
because He is amazing and wonderful
there is no one like Him
completely beyond all I can imagine and even comprehend
Whatever my circumstances or state
He wants to be known
He wants to be near to me
He wants to bring me near to Him
Deep calls to Deep
Deep calls to Deep
This psalm is evidence that I can begin to express and articulate my pain
my anger
my sadness
my bitterness and discontent
whatever is in the depths
may be cried out
to Him
In any circumstance or state
I can come to Him
and commune with Him in the depths of my being
Deep calls unto deep
When the pain is prolonged
is intricate and tangled and complex
and has no clear or immediate trajectory of change
I can come again and again to Him to pour out my soul
to articulate and put into words all that I am feeling and thinking
Talking to Him
Talking to Him
Talk to God in the pain
the bewilderment
the loss
the grief
the disappointment
the anger
the sadness
This psalm is given to show us how to pray
God is near to the crushed
and the broken
We can cry out to God from the depths of our being
in the depths of our pain
When my heart is overwhelmed
lead me to the rock that is higher than I Psalm 61:2 KJV
Psalm 61:2Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
2 I call to You from the ends of the earth
when my heart is without strength.
Lead me to a rock that is high above me,
when my heart is without strength.
Lead me to a rock that is high above me,
He is that rock
that alone is secure and unchanging
all else is transitory and fleeting
Talk / Write / Pray:
What is on your heart?
What are you concerned about?
What would you like to talk to God about?
He is patient
He is kind and compassionate
He is merciful and understanding
He cares for you
He is not limited in either time or patience
He wants to listen to you unburden your heart to Him
Trust
I pray to God—my life a prayer—
and wait for what he’ll say and do.
My life’s on the line before God, my Lord,
waiting and watching till morning,
waiting and watching till morning. Psalm 130:5-6
and wait for what he’ll say and do.
My life’s on the line before God, my Lord,
waiting and watching till morning,
waiting and watching till morning. Psalm 130:5-6
It is a very painful truth to realize
that I am completely powerless
to effect deep lasting change
and transformation
in myself or any one else
that I am completely powerless
to effect deep lasting change
and transformation
in myself or any one else
Talk / Write / Pray:
Where do I feel most powerless?
most helpless?
what am I afraid of here?
How can I remind myself of who You are?
What am I longing for?
How can I trust you, Lord in this?
my life a prayer
what else is there but to keep baring my soul to God
to keep talking with Him
to be in relationship with Him
to trust Him to work his amazing work
in ways I cannot now see or understand now
but I can know Him
in the midst
not watching what is distressing me
but watching for Him
waiting for Him to do what I cannot
What He is doing is inviting me into a relationship with Him
right here and now
where I am today
Weeping may endure for a night
but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5 KJV
those who trust in Him are not put to shame in the end
Hope
with your arrival comes love into the depths of my being
and through me into this situation
this relationship
changing me from the inside out
Praise you O Lord!
my life a prayer
what else is there but to keep baring my soul to God
to keep talking with Him
to be in relationship with Him
to trust Him to work his amazing work
in ways I cannot now see or understand now
but I can know Him
in the midst
not watching what is distressing me
but watching for Him
waiting for Him to do what I cannot
What He is doing is inviting me into a relationship with Him
right here and now
where I am today
Weeping may endure for a night
but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5 KJV
5 His anger lasts only a moment.
But his kindness lasts for a lifetime.
Crying may last for a night.
But joy comes in the morning.
But his kindness lasts for a lifetime.
Crying may last for a night.
But joy comes in the morning.
Psalm 30:5 ICB
Hope
O Israel, wait and watch for God—
with God’s arrival comes love,
with God’s arrival comes generous redemption.
No doubt about it—he’ll redeem Israel,
buy back Israel from captivity to sin. Psalm 130: 7-8
Yes, Lord,
help me to watch for you
you want to redeem and recover
you want to free me from all that I cannot free myself
you want to give me Yourself
with your arrival comes love into the depths of my being
and through me into this situation
this relationship
changing me from the inside out
Praise you O Lord!
Psalm 130The Message (MSG)
A Pilgrim Song
130 1-2 Help, God—the bottom has fallen out of my life!
Master, hear my cry for help!
Listen hard! Open your ears!
Listen to my cries for mercy.
Master, hear my cry for help!
Listen hard! Open your ears!
Listen to my cries for mercy.
3-4 If you, God, kept records on wrongdoings,
who would stand a chance?
As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit,
and that’s why you’re worshiped.
who would stand a chance?
As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit,
and that’s why you’re worshiped.
5-6 I pray to God—my life a prayer—
and wait for what he’ll say and do.
My life’s on the line before God, my Lord,
waiting and watching till morning,
waiting and watching till morning.
and wait for what he’ll say and do.
My life’s on the line before God, my Lord,
waiting and watching till morning,
waiting and watching till morning.
7-8 O Israel, wait and watch for God—
with God’s arrival comes love,
with God’s arrival comes generous redemption.
No doubt about it—he’ll redeem Israel,
buy back Israel from captivity to sin.
with God’s arrival comes love,
with God’s arrival comes generous redemption.
No doubt about it—he’ll redeem Israel,
buy back Israel from captivity to sin.
