Moving from Fear to Peace

Moving from Fear to Peace

like a lion rending and shredding all rationality
with sharp teeth and claws tearing at me
fear is a tight, pervasive, panic overriding all reason
an icy hand with a vice's grip on my heart, my throat,
strangling
my thoughts
my faith
my courage
my love

I have 3 children, who are still young
my own mother died of cancer within 2 years of my current age
her concern was dismissed to her demise

I have an 'area of concern' that could at any time go rogue
and silently spread death in my members. Unknown and unseen.

Fear,
I know fear
a paralyzing  asphyxiating fear
a panic that overrides all rational thought
a deep-seated terror that arises with great force from within

There is no love in fear
     your love cannot penetrate the defenses on my heart
         even though you are there, I cannot feel you at all where I need you

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,

I was senseless and ignorant;

I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you;

you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you. 

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

 Psalm 73: 21-28 NIV

You are holding on to me, like a little child
You will guide me, like a little child
You are all I really have
all else is a gift

But how do I get from senseless beast to nothing I desire beside you?
I desire a lot

I want to pour out my heart and desires to you
I want to open my heart and let you hold all my treasures

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.  Luke 12:34 New Living Translation

Oh Lord, bring me to where all my treasures are in you
and in your trustworthy hands...
even to where you are my greatest treasure,
the only sure thing I really have

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Luke 12:25

"Where God's love is,

there is no fear in love,

        because God's perfect love takes away all fear."

I John 4:17

     not my love but yours

It doesn't say there will be no suffering, no limits, no loss
       just that there will be no fear
when, by the Holy Spirit, I am filled with your love

"I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you."

John 14:18 NIV

He doesn't promise that everything will work out the way I want,
or that even my worst fears won't happen but that
He will be with me, and that
He, himself is my comfort
and will care for those I love

But now, this is what the LORD says--

he who created you, Jacob,

he who formed you, Israel:

'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, 

I will be with you;

and When you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD your God

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east 

and gather you from the west.

I will say to the north,'Give them up!'

and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'

Bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the ends of the earth--

everyone who is called by my name, 

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made."

Isaiah 43:1-3; 5-7 NIV

"You, Lord, give true peace. 

You give peace to those who depend on you.

You give peace to those who trust you.

So trust the Lord always.

Trust the Lord because he is our Rock forever."

Isaiah 26:3-4NIV

Oh Lord, work the reality of these truths into my heart and life.
I can know them but I cannot make them a reality in my life.

Help me to love you more than anything else.
Amen