A Theology of womanhood

A Theology of Womanhood

I cannot define my life by what I do
 or how much I do
 or even where I do
 for my kids
 for my husband
for my friends, neighbors, co-workers, family
 what kind of ministry or acts of service I participate in
      or even desire to participate in
how clean my house is (or isn't!)
how my kids behave
what my kids decide to believe or do with their lives

I cannot define my life by my relationships or the lack thereof
 with my husband
 with my kids
 how many friends I have ( or don't have!)
 with influential people whether Christian or not
political or not
social or not

I cannot define my life by how I look (or don't!)
 my face
 my body
 what I wear
 how fit I am ( or am not!)

I cannot define my life by what I possess
  what level of education I have
  what I read ( or don't!)
  where I live
  what I drive
  what I own
  what I wear

I cannot define my life by what I eat or make
 healthy (or not!)
 homemade (or not!)
 impressive (or not!)

I cannot define my life by what others think of me
 or even what I perceive that they think
 or even what I think about myself

I cannot even define my life by what I think, necessarily
 what I think of myself
 what I can figure out by myself
 how I handle suffering, conflict, trouble

what body of believers I am a part of
what I believe about issues
what communities I am a part of
how I pray (or don't!) or even how much I pray
how much I read my Bible (or don't!)

who I listen to or follow
what I write (or don't!)
who reads what I write ( or who doesn't!)
whether I have have published (or not!
whether I have ever been invited to speak (or not!)
what comments I get (or don't!) on anything I write
what reviews I get (or don't!)

I cannot define my life by what qualities I think I posses in some measure (or don't!)
patience
kindness
understanding
wisdom
love
compassion
humility
truthfulness
cheerfulness
friendliness
being fun-loving or athletic
having a great sense of humor
or a quick wit

I can only define my life by who Jesus Christ is and what He has done

The love of Christ controls us. Because we know the One died for all. So all have died. Christ died for all so that those who live would not continue to live for themselves. He died for them and was raised from death so that they would live for him. 

Fro this time on we do not think of anyone as the world does...If anyone belongs to Christ, then he is made new. The old things have gone, everything is made new!

All this is from God. Through Christ, God made peace between us and himself. And God gave us the work of bringing everyone into peace with him. I mean that God was in Christ making peace between the world and himself. 

In Christ, God did not hold the world guilty of it sins. And he gave us this message of peace. So we have been to speak for Christ. 

It is as if God is calling to you through us. 

We speak for Christ when we beg you to be at peace with God. 

Christ had no sin. But God made him become sin. God did this for us so that in Christ we could become right with God. 2 Corinthians 5:14-21 

trying to find meaning, significance and identity in any of these even good and beautiful things or ways is like the person who built his house on the sand.

 It may look beautiful, impressive, clean! attractive for quite a while but when the storms of life come, and the shifting sands of time and change erode underneath, it all comes crashing down.

It didn't matter how big, strong, beautiful or even how well connected the house was to other strong structures.
A soft shifting, easily-moved base undermined it all...

there was no permanent, abiding, unchanging foundation

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a sensible man who builds his house on the rock. Down came the rain and up came the floods, while the winds blew and roared upon that house - and it did not fall because it foundations were on the rock.

And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not follow them can be compared with a foolish man who built his house on the sand. Down came the rain and up came the floods, while the winds blew and battered that house till it collapsed and fell with a great crash.

Matthew 7:24-27 Phillips

in fact, so many of these beautiful and wonderful things have become a source of insecurity, depression, comparison, shame and condemnation

or worse yet they have become a source of pride, self-righteousness and contempt or despising of others in my life

It is not everyone who keeps saying to me, 'Lord, Lord,  who will enter the kingdom of Heaven , but he man who actually does my Heavenly Father's will.  

In that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, didn't we preach in your name, didn't we cast out devils in your name, and do many great things in your name?" Then I shall tell them plainly, 'I have never known you. Go away from me, you have worked on the side of evil." Matthew 7:21-23

This is such a strong passage and much about it, I cannot explain, but I love the fact that Jesus is emphasizing a intimate and loving relationship with him. And I am encouraged that really, I only need to do the things that Jesus is asking me to do. This is not easy to know,but it is comforting that really, a great deal of what I feel driven to do, is not actually required at all. Aren't my desires to feel meaningful, righteous, significant, loved what cause me to overextend myself with impossible expectations and demands?
to find Jesus to be my meaning, doesn't it free me to meet even the small, mundane, trivial tasks of life with confidence that He will infuse them with life and meaning beyond what I can see or feel right now?

When I don't be and act from this sure foundation, I feel strained and anxous. Seeking something to fulfill me in others or in what I do, I strain the relationships of those closest to me because I am anxious to try to fit in things that don't really fit into the available time and space or resources that are currently available. And I invariably set myself up for disappointment because however wonderful something may be for a moment, the plain fact is that I need fresh love, meaning, hope, significance all the time and the only relationship with a perpetual and everlasting fountain of these things is God himself. No friendship, husband, children, job, ministry, vacation, physical shape or appearance can sustain what my heart needs.

But when I am constantly turning to him to constantly provide what I need then I can find him to be the I AM God, always becoming that which his people need. It is that foundation from which I can love others, be a true friend, a consistent and loving parent, a loving wife, serve in a ministry no matter how that relationship or service turns out. It may go amazingly well, exceeding even my high expectations. It may be agonizingly difficult with no end in sight. I might be misunderstood, I might be appreciated. Whatever the result I have a sure foundation that none of these things can ever change!  And I am free to really love with his love because I am not putting the burden of having to meet my deep and constant need on some other person or ministry etc.
Love has to be free to be love.

I find it is these issues of my heart that fuel envy, jealousy, perfectionism
it is my own desires for love, meaning, community, fulfillment that can
ruin relationships
tear apart families
 even communities of those who believe
causing me to become my own agent of destruction
destroying even those things I wished so desperately to build

The wise woman builds her house,

    but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. 

Proverbs14:1 NIV

these wonderful things can become barriers that keep me isolated and alone even when surrounded by other women, moms, believers
silenced into a deep and all pervading sense of shame
not being worthy
not measuring up to any one's standard, especially my own

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16 NIV

Isn't this the way to true womanhood? true community?
 When I am free to be honest and without shame for my faults, weaknesses, needs and struggles?
  And free to let others be free to be who God is forming them to be, in His own time and way?
  Do we not then have a sure foundation on which to meet and connect that has nothing to do with us at all?

Oh how I want this sure foundation
to let the truth of God's word permeate my thinking
my view of myself
what I do
and how
and why

No! We will speak the truth with love. We will grow up in every way to be like Christ, who is the head. the whole body depends on Christ. And all the parts of the body are joined and held together. Each part of the body does it own work. And this makes the whole body grow and be strong with love. Ephesians 4:15-16 International Children's Bible

Oh Lord, only you can work these truths deep into my being so that a strong foundation can be built so that you can build your beauty in me
in who I become in Christ
no matter where I am 
or what I am doing 
or who I am with 
or who is noticing
or what anyone else thinks

Thomas Merton said that the way we have structured our lives, we spend our whole life climbing up the ladder of supposed success, and when we get to the top of the ladder we realize it is leaning against the wrong wall—and there is nothing at the top anyway.

My people have committed two sins, They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water. Jeremiah 2:13 NIV

help me to let go of my broken cisterns and drink the pure water of your word
absorb your truth into every facet of my life and relationships
truly transforming me from the inside out
building on a sure foundation

In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. Ephesians 2:21 NAS

³⁷ On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. ³⁸ Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”^[a] 39 By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified.  John 7:37-39 NIV

Footnotes:

1. John 7:38
 Or me. And let anyone drink ³⁸ who believes in me.” As Scripture has said, “Out of him (or them) will flow rivers of living water.”

I waited patiently for the Lord.
He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of destruction,
out of the sticky mud.
He stood me on a rock,
He made my feet steady.
He put a new song in my mouth,
It was a song of praise to our God.
Many people will see this and worship him.
then they will trust the Lord.  Psalm 40 :1-4 ICB

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