"I will go up to the lookout tower.
I'll station myself on tHe city wall.
I'll wait to see how the LORD will reply to me.
Then I'll try to figure out how to answer him." Habakkuk 2:1
"Lord how long do I have to call out for help?
Why don't you listen to me?
How long must I keep telling you
that things are terrible?
Why don't you save us? Habakkuk 1:1
Habakkuk knew where to go with his burning questions
He didn't wait until he had his emotions under control
It came out all hot and fiery
But it came out to the one who He knew was listening and cared
and who he knew would answer him in His own time and way
To Whom am I speaking?
Trusting God does not mean I do not feel angry, depressed, sad, bewildered or even abandoned
What do I do with these feelings?
Do I bring them to Him?
Reading the lives of others to see God working
I love reading biographies of persons seeking to trust and obey God through all kinds of difficulties and their own failings and flaws
Lately to me, it seems that many of these stories are written showing persons who by the grace of God come through their struggles
are enabled to persevere and do amazing things
including overcoming themselves
their fears, hesitations, inclination to self-preservation and racism etc
The ones I find most encouraging are the ones who bare their souls and let me see the struggles,
the failings, the doubts, etc.
I wonder, though, in our human tendency to want to make a nice story and a happy ending
we don't inadvertently gloss and smooth over rough points too much
making and drawing straight lines and conclusions
where the truth was more complex and murky
Why I need to see and hear your struggles
I love Habakkuk because he just lays it out there
"Lord how long do I have to call out for help?
Why don't you listen to me?
How long must I keep telling you
that things are terrible?
Why don't you save us?
This comforts me because I don't always find any improvement ( to my own limited sight and to my own limited definitions) to the things I am so desperately in conversation with God over
It is always true that I need to grow in grace
in trusting in
in believing in you
in practical working out of your truth
in my heart, inner thoughts, conversations, perspectives, reactions, relationships, etc
but there is this sharp assassin's blade thrown into my heart
If you trusted God ___________
(more, better, fuller, deeper, more practically - you fill in the adjective)
then you would
be more full of joy and peace, be able to have a stronger and better effect on those around,
see more spiritual fruit, etc, etc, fill in the blank...)
Partially true / Partially false
YES it is true that we can always be more filled with the Holy Spirit
and His working of inner peace and joy and love to others
courage to act selflessly
persist in difficulty
YES
But even Christ said "Father Father, why have you forsaken me?
He felt abandoned and alone even in the center of God's will
and accomplishing the very work He came to do
You gave us the Psalms that are full of poignant emotion
much of it we would term negative
Habakkuk is feeling deep pain and angst
even as he is looking forward to hearing how the Lord is going to meet him
I am struggling through a long season of trial
feeling as one could imagine
and the thought that things could/would be better if I were more spiritual is a painful one
true but also untrue
I think the best way forward is to just talk with you about this
let you sort me out
You can show me where there is unbelief, bitterness, self pity, resentment, hardness of heart
Only you can help me to see the truth
Only you can bring me closer to you and more and more free of these things
Only you can transform me
and those around me
Worship and Peace
Yes, this is the point
all about you and not me
O Lord,
help me to remain in openness to you
where you can work in me
Help me to trust in you
when there is a sense of overcoming
and when there is not
it is not about my feeble evaluations
You are the one I need no matter what is going on around me and in me
You are able to get what you want in me
24 God is strong and can help you not to fall.
He can bring you before his glory without any wrong in you
and give you great joy.
25 He is the only God.
He is the One who saves us.
To him be glory, greatness, power, and authority
through Jesus Christ our Lord
for all time past, now, and forever. Amen.
Jude 24-25 International Children's Bible
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