Sunday, March 31, 2019

My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?

Why have you forsaken me

Jesus himself utters these words
he experiences what it is like to feel forsaken by God

he knew the painful emptiness of the Father's absences

he knew what it was like to feel abandoned, rejected forsaken
even by God himself.

O Lord
O Lord

even this
you experienced for us

we know that painful voluminous vacuum and emptiness inside

But you, the Son of God who always dwells in the bosom of the Father

that you would willingly choose to take on you my sin
to let it drive the Father to turn his back
to turn his face away



Isaiah 53 New International Version (NIV)

53 Who has believed our message
    and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
    and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed and afflicted,
    yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
    so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression[a] and judgment he was taken away.
    Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
    for the transgression of my people he was punished.[b]
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
    and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
    nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
    and though the Lord makes[c] his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
    and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
11 After he has suffered,
    he will see the light of life[d] and be satisfied[e];
by his knowledge[f] my righteous servant will justify many,
    and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,[g]
    and he will divide the spoils with the strong,[h]
because he poured out his life unto death,
    and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
    and made intercession for the transgressors.



I can never say I will not have to experience feeling forsaken by all
even God himself
I can never say I will always feel his presence in me and understand what he is doing
sometimes i will feel so shocked and bewildered and overwhelmed
so broken and abandoned


Oh Lord, help me not to be offended at you
when you don't seem to save me

when I demand proof you are the Son of God
by experiencing you saving me from this 
right now!!!

If you are the Son of God, come down from there
he saved others, himself he cannot save

Yet you were doing the most beautiful work of all
being the perfect sacrificial lamb

he who knew no sin
became sin for us 
that we might be the righteous of God in Him
2 Corinthians 5:21

Oh Lord
that you would do this for us

give us eyes to see you
even in the darkness 
Your beauty shines 

Help us to trust you
in these forsaken places
You will bring us to where we will never ever 
leave your presence again 
ever ever ever

The Lamb is the Light 
There is no night there
Hallelujah






Saturday, March 16, 2019

While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.
Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages[a] and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.
“Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 

Dear Lord, 
I love you. You are so beautiful.  While there are so many voices telling us that what we are doing is futile and to no account and hasn't really accomplished anything. You are saying, leave her alone. She has done this to me and it is a beautiful thing.  Help us today to look to you and do everything before us as unto you. Help us to hear your words and let them truly sink down in deep and transform. We love you. Amen. 

Thursday, March 14, 2019

a tribute

"... Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!" ( or hers)  Numbers 23:10 KJV


A tribute to my beloved Aunt Selma

she is ending her life cradled in the arms of God
Jesus is holding her in his beloved arms
sitting next to her
holding her hand

When all else fades away
awareness and cognizance dims and weakens

He is still there
still the same

When the connection to dear family and friends grows distant and breaks
He is still there
carrying her home

to the place he has prepared

but even how wonderful the place is 
and all the beloved ones there eagerly awaiting her arrival

It is you O, Lord that is our deepest relationship
our greatest joy
our most beloved place is to be with you

Selma knew you
she was not perfect in herself 
but she made the choice to trust in you
and what Jesus has done to make us able to know you

She spent a lifetime trusting you
listening to you
both receiving and giving your love

She was well beloved by so many
because she spent a lifetime 
seeking to love those God had put around her

I am one of those
I am so grateful the Lord has given us these 84 years with her
now it is time to let her go home to be with you

So many things clamor for my attention and focus and energy

but really only one thing matters
to know you and believe and receive your love
so deep that it changes us from the inside out

transforming how we view and interact with others. 

Yes, Lord, let me die the death of the righteous and let my last end be like his. 
These words were uttered by someone who though aware and desirous of this end, did not end this way. 

Help me Lord, to not be fooled by the false values and priorities that claim my days, my affections, my opportunities

Help me to see you and let this view the end that will come, shape my here and now. 
Reveal your self to me, far and above all that glitters and distracts
help me to see you, trust you and respond to you. 

Those who trust in you will never be put to shame. 

I will end with no sense of bitter loss but only of fullness and expectation of coming home to you. 

May she have this joy that you are with her, leading her through this difficult passing and will bring her home 
where she will see you face to face 
and know you even as she is known by you.
Amen