Who Am I Talking To?

"I will go up to the lookout tower. 
I'll station myself on tHe city wall. 
I'll wait to see how the LORD will reply to me. 
Then I'll try to figure out how to answer him."  Habakkuk 2:1

"Lord how long do I have to call out for help?
Why don't you listen to me?
How long must I keep telling you
that things are terrible?
Why don't you save us? Habakkuk 1:1

Habakkuk knew where to go with his burning questions

He didn't wait until he had his emotions under control
It came out all hot and fiery

But it came out to the one who He knew was listening and cared
and who he knew would answer him in His own time and way

To Whom am I speaking? 

Trusting God does not mean I do not feel angry, depressed, sad, bewildered or even abandoned

What do I do with these feelings?
Do I bring them to Him?


Reading the lives of others to see God working 

I love reading biographies of persons seeking to trust and obey God through all kinds of difficulties and their own failings and flaws
Lately to me, it seems that many of these stories are written showing persons who by the grace of God come through their struggles
are enabled to persevere and do amazing things
including overcoming themselves
their fears, hesitations, inclination to self-preservation and racism etc

The ones I find most encouraging are the ones who bare their souls and let me see the struggles,
the failings, the doubts, etc.

I wonder, though, in our human tendency to want to make a nice story and a happy ending
we don't inadvertently gloss and smooth over rough points too much
making and drawing straight lines and conclusions
where the truth was more complex and murky

Why I need to see and hear your struggles

I love Habakkuk because he just lays it out there


"Lord how long do I have to call out for help?
Why don't you listen to me?
How long must I keep telling you
that things are terrible?
Why don't you save us?

This comforts me because I don't always find any improvement ( to my own limited sight and to my own limited definitions) to the things I am so desperately in conversation with God over

It is always true that I need to grow in grace
in trusting in
in believing in you
in practical working out of your truth
in my heart, inner thoughts, conversations, perspectives, reactions, relationships, etc

but there is this sharp assassin's blade thrown into my heart

If you trusted God ___________
 (more, better, fuller, deeper, more practically - you fill in the adjective)

then  you would
  be more full of joy and peace, be able to have a stronger and better effect on those around,
  see more spiritual fruit, etc, etc,  fill in the blank...)

Partially true / Partially false

YES it is true that we can always be more filled with the Holy Spirit
 and His working of inner peace and joy and love to others
courage to act selflessly
persist in difficulty
YES

But even Christ said "Father Father, why have you forsaken me?
He felt abandoned and alone even in the center of God's will
and accomplishing the very work He came to do

You gave us the Psalms that are full of poignant emotion
much of it we would term negative

Habakkuk is feeling deep pain and angst
even as he is looking forward to hearing how the Lord is going to meet him

I am struggling through a long season of trial
feeling as one could imagine

and the thought that things could/would be better if I  were more spiritual is a painful one
true but also untrue

 I think the best way forward is to just talk with you about this
let you sort me out

You can show me where there is unbelief, bitterness, self pity,  resentment, hardness of heart
Only you can help me to see the truth
Only you can bring me closer to you and more and more free of these things

Only you can transform me
and those around me

Worship and Peace

Yes, this is the point
all about you and not me

O Lord,
help me to remain in openness to you
where you can work in me

Help me to trust in you
when there is a sense of overcoming
and when there is not

it is not about my feeble evaluations

You are the one I need no matter what is going on around me and in me
You are able to get what you want in me

24 God is strong and can help you not to fall. 
He can bring you before his glory without any wrong in you
 and give you great joy. 

25 He is the only God.
 He is the One who saves us. 
To him be glory, greatness, power, and authority 
through Jesus Christ our Lord 
for all time past, now, and forever. Amen.

Jude 24-25 International Children's Bible

Those Who Know Their God Shall Be Strong

 "And such as do wickedly against the covenant shall he corrupt by flatteries:

 but the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits." 

Daniel 11:32 KJV

"With flattery he will corrupt those who act wickedly toward the covenant, 

but the people who know their God 

will be strong 

and take action." 

Daniel 11:32 Holman

(for context read all of Daniel 11 at the link below

 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel+11&version=HCSB

This chapter is describing a time of great distress that is yet to come. Verses 21-44 are about a person who will do great evil and have great power for a predetermined length of time. Verse 32 in the midst of this section shows us those who were strong in the Lord because they knew Him.  This meditation focuses on this encouragement. To see the strength of this encouragement, one must understand the time that is being described.  In other words, this encouragement is not just for times when it is easy to be encouraged to trust in God but in the worst and most difficult setting we could possibly imagine. I find tremendous comfort in this.)

A time of great difficulty and distress

Darkness and despair

An unfettered reign of evil

Seeming destruction of all that is good

Deceit, falsehood and trickery 

Fear and intense pressure 

struggle and deprivation

But this is not all that is

There is still YOU

You who sit enthroned above all

You who hold even the most powerful we know in utter derision and contempt.

You laugh at their boastful words

Because you know their time is short

Their days are limited

Because You have set the limits

Their days are numbered beforehand

You alone are God

And all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing.  

And He does according to His will in the host of heaven  

and among the inhabitants of the earth,  

and none can stay His hand  

or say to Him, What are You doing? 

   

Daniel 4:35 Amp.

Darkness shall endure only as long as you allow it

Yes, you do allow it

We don't always know why

But we know YOU

That You alone are God

You alone are all powerful

You alone are all knowing

And You alone are all loving

Even to those who vehemently oppose and despise you

You give time 

And an opportunity to know you

Be transformed and love you

"But God demonstrated his love in that while we were still sinners Christ died fir us." Romans 8:32 KJV

18 Christ himself died for you. And that one death paid for your sins. 

He was not guilty, but he died for those who are guilty.

 He did this to bring you all to God.

 His body was killed, but he was made alive in the spirit.  i Peter 3:18 ICB

As a child to a Father who so loves, anyone can be brought to know you

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son.

 God gave his Son so that whoever believes in him may not be lost, but have eternal life.

John 3:16

Only you can transform our hearts to truly know you and love you 

and because of love for you truly know and love all others

Yes Lord please come in

Do your transformative working

Cause us to see you and know you

No matter what our physical mental emotional circumstantial states

We worship you Lord

Dan 11 32b  :... the people who know their God will be strong and take action."

These folks were not strong or brave or hopeful or wise 

Or any other quality in themselves

The only quality told us was that they knew their God

Belonged to him

Loved and were loved by him

There was nothing special about them 

Only that they had a living connection to the living God

Whatever our struggles and difficulties now let us take the opportunity that is here

right here

in this very moment and state to seek and pursue you

to cry out to you

To read your word to seek you in all

to open our hearts to you and trust in you

To let our relationship with you grow strong

Rooted and grounded in Christ

7 Keep your roots deep in him 

and have your lives built on him.

Be strong in the faith, just as you were taught. 

And always be thankful. 

Colossians 2:7 ICB

17 I pray that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith. 

I pray that your life will be strong in love and be built on love.

Ephesians 3:17 ICB

The suffering we are enduring has its limits. It will end but You are eternal and our relationship with you is eternal.

Dan 11 32b  :... the people who know their God will be strong and take action."

For further encouragement:

  Daniel 4    https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel%204

When LIfe and Beliefs Collide by Carolyn Custis James  has been a tremendous strength and encouragement to me to seek above all else to know God

The life of Joseph in Genesis chapters 37 through 50 is also a deep encouragement to me that God is working even in the deepest sufferings and how he can so completely transform our lives in just one day.