Letting it all fall down to Jesus

Letting it all fall down to Jesus 

"What is my strength, that I should hope? and what is mine end, that I should prolong my days?" Job 6:11

I am weary with trying to hold up the weight of the world single-handedly.
Trying to keep it all together
trying to avert looming disaster at every turn 

I have no strength left, and hope takes strength

It is only an illusion that I have any real power
any power to uphold the sky
like some kind of deluded Atlas

my world is crashing anyway
for all my best efforts, hard work and sacrifice

the truth:
I am the impotent man
paralyzed
immovable
powerless
unable to do or change even the slightest detail of my life
or who I am

I know where Jesus is today but I cannot get to him on my own
I need help
I need to be carried there

borne aloft

borne of four

I am too great a burden for one alone to carry, or even two

and even when we have traversed and arrived
so many people
so many walls between me and Jesus
we can never get through
I cannot even see him
but I hear his voice

maybe it is impossible
maybe we should just give up and trudge back home in defeat
I cannot even see him
but I hear his voice

suddenly, I am lurched from my repose
up the stairs I am bumped and brought
tearing up the roof?
are you mad?

what will the owner of this house say?
how will this hole be repaired?
this impertinent act of violence to his dwelling place?

Cries of annoyance and anger rise up from below
What are you doing?
Stop! or the roof will fall in on us!
Don't you care?
Who do you people think you are anyway?

But Jesus is calm and the angry crowd quiets

I find myself being squeezed through this rough opening
dropping steadily down
letting gravity do its work

more groans and sighs of exasperation as I arrive to the lowest point

But He is there
looking at me with love in his eyes
smiling
glad to see me
glad that I have come
glad for those that were willing to bear me
glad for our persistence and desire
glad for our faith and hope
longing to bring healing home to me
bringing me home to Him

He speaks the words I most need to hear
"Son, your sins have been forgiven you"

How my heart leaps for joy and praise!
but then...

"¹⁰ But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the man, ¹¹ “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” Mark 2:10 -11

And then I know it
I know it

I can get up from this mat
I am no longer helpless
powerless
limp and impotent

I am leaping and walking and running and jumping
and PRAISING GOD!!!!


So many times we think of prayer as lifting our burdens up to God
God who is powerful and over all 
But in this case, the man was lowered down to Jesus

The high and lofty one who lives in eternity, the Holy One, says this: "I live in the high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I restore the crushed spirit of the humble and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts. Isaiah 57:15 New Living Translation (2007)

stop trying to hold it all up
my family is a mess, I am a mess, my life is a gordian knot
put it all on the mat, don't try to fix it anymore
let the weight pull it all down
lay the burden down

Jesus is waiting there
at my lowest point
waiting with a smile and love in his eyes

"Casting all your care upon him, because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7

Sometimes the image given of prayer is lifting all our cares up to God 
It is a beautiful picture
but here the picture is of a helpless man being lowered down to the waiting Jesus
when I am too exhausted to try to lift up to God
He is waiting at my lowest point
grace seeks out the lowest place to fill

I am not god

I am not god

you are God

you are God

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

^28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” 

Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

2 A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. ² They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. ³ Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. ⁴ Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. ⁵ When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”
⁶ Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, ⁷ “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
⁸ Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? ⁹ Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? ¹⁰ But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the man, ¹¹ “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” ¹² He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!”  Mark 2:1-12 NIV

Let Your Wind Blow

 Let Your Wind Blow 

Dear Lord,

Let your Holy Wind blow through me

blowing away all the chaff

cleaning out all the junk

It is not a gentle breeze

but strong

strong enough to take out the old

strong enough to change

to transform

from the inside out

to bring in the new

to thoroughly 

and utterly 

change

how I think

how I act 

how I respond

how I see

how I love

all my relationships

creating out of diverse individuals
self absorbed

filled with fear

a community of love

sacrifice

care

a shining beauty 

shining you

bringing you glory

Acts 2
New International Version (NIV)
The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

2 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. ² Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. ³ They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. ⁴ All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues^[a] as the Spirit enabled them. 

⁵ Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. ⁶ When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. ⁷ Utterly amazed,they asked: “Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? ⁸ Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? ⁹ Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia,^[b]10 Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome ¹¹ (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” ¹² Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?” 

¹³ Some, however, made fun of them and said, “They have had too much wine.” 

Peter Addresses the Crowd¹⁴ Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. ¹⁵ These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It’s only nine in the morning! ¹⁶ No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel:¹⁷ “‘In the last days, God says,    I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,    your young men will see visions,    your old men will dream dreams.¹⁸ Even on my servants, both men and women,    I will pour out my Spirit in those days,    and they will prophesy.¹⁹ I will show wonders in the heavens above    and signs on the earth below,
    blood and fire and billows of smoke.²⁰ The sun will be turned to darkness    and the moon to blood
    before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.²¹ And everyone who calls    on the name of the Lord will be saved.’^[c] 

²² “Fellow Israelites, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. ²³ This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men,^[d] put him to death by nailing him to the cross.²⁴ But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. ²⁵ David said about him:“‘I saw the Lord always before me.    Because he is at my right hand,    I will not be shaken.²⁶ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;    my body also will rest in hope,²⁷ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,    you will not let your holy one see decay.²⁸ You have made known to me the paths of life;    you will fill me with joy in your presence.’^[e] 

²⁹ “Fellow Israelites, I can tell you confidently that the patriarch David died and was buried, and his tomb is here to this day. ³⁰ But he was a prophet and knew that God had promised him on oath that he would place one of his descendants on his throne. ³¹ Seeing what was to come, he spoke of the resurrection of the Messiah, that he was not abandoned to the realm of the dead, nor did his body see decay. ³² God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of it.³³ Exalted to the right hand of God, he has received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and has poured out what you now see and hear. ³⁴ For David did not ascend to heaven, and yet he said,“‘The Lord said to my Lord:    “Sit at my right hand³⁵ until I make your enemies    a footstool for your feet.”’^[f]36 “Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Messiah.” 

³⁷ When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”³⁸ Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. ³⁹ The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.”⁴⁰ With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.”⁴¹ Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.

The Fellowship of the Believers⁴² They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.⁴³ Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. ⁴⁴ All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵ They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.⁴⁶ Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. 

Breathe

Breathe

5 ^1-2 Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. 

Ephesians 5:1-2 The Message

Breathe in 

your love

breathe in 

your acceptance

breathe in 

your peace

breathe in

your hope

breathe in 

your joy

breathe in 

your strength

Breathe in your meekness

and humility

Breathe out

my insecurity

Breathe out

my fears

breathe out

my panic

breathe out

my anxiety and worry

breathe out

bitterness

breathe out

pride 

breathe out
envy
breathe out

my desires
my desperate

grasping

²⁰ That, however, is not the way of life you learned ²¹ when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²² You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴ and to put on the new self,created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 4:20-24 NIV

I need you

I need you like I need air

fresh and new 

every moment

I can only love 

as you loved

with you in me

Panic

fear anxiety

shallow breathing

I am hyperventilating
thrashing
flailing
clinging
my voice shrill,
harsh and loud
driven
impulsive
obsessive
desperate

not enough oxygen

getting in deep enough

to where it is needed

Pray

Breathe in

Breathe in 

Breathe in

You are here 

you have promised to be with me

you have promised to help me

you are what I need

You see all 

you understand all

you are all

moment by moment

you have all that I need

moment by moment
you are all that I need

breathe out praise

breathe out gratitude
breathe out thanksgiving

breathe out lies
breathe in your truth

breathe out pretending

breathe out trying to be what you want

breathe out deceit

breathe out

²⁵ Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  

Ephesians 4:25 NIV

I love you Lord 

Get Some Air

I spent a lovely warm and sunny afternoon at the pool
trying to help my oldest son improve his swimming skills.
Over and over again I found myself saying,
"Get some air! Get some air!"

The difference between drowning and swimming is 

determined by only one thing

the success of getting enough air

down inside 

deep into the lungs

where it can be transported to the brain

and other important cells

to keep life flowing

growing

 living

without which

function slows and stops 

movement slows and stops

awareness and perspective slows and stops

life ebbs away to

darkness 

stillness

death

My son can swim successfully and independently 
as much as the air in one breath can take him
then the critical moment comes
can he get some air on his own?

one can only hold one's breath so long

then fresh air I must have

nothing else will do 

no substitute will suffice

At this point, form does not matter...
I don't really care how he does it
or what it looks like to anyone else...

Can he get some air 
down into his lungs 
where it makes 
a vital difference?

With air what would be an arena of sure and sudden demise

becomes a wonderfully cool and refreshing playground

a place where the heavy pull of gravity is overcome 

I do not feel my weight so firmly tied to the earth

the limits of what I can and cannot do broken

I can soar and fly

What a powerful metaphor for the Holy Spirit 
He is God with me
given only as a gift
but making all the vital difference
between life and death
floating and sinking beneath
swimming or drowning in life's waves

Knowing and even understanding all the laws of physics, bouyoncy, etc
will not necessarily enable me to swim across the deep end
although it is good and helpful info

Knowing and even understanding all the proper motions and dynamics of how to move one's body in proper format
will not necessarily enable me to swim 
although it is good and helpful info

If there is no air in my lungs 
that can be successfully absorbed and carried 
to every living cell to 
sustain life
then all is lost

I need you
I need you
without you, O God
I am lost

Drowning is not usually loud or dramatic
but silent
as one loses the ability to breathe
they also lose the ability to speak

one can drown while knowing how to swim
one can drown while life saving air is only a few inches away
one can drown in the midst of those who are having a wonderful time

one can drown within easy reach of another

whose lungs are full of life giving air

The motions of splashing, bobbing, wiggling underwater
look identical 
swimming and drowning
except for the look of panic in one's eyes
the water bending the rays of light
distorting
making it hard to see

 I need you
I need you
I need you anew
each new minute

I need you to bring home your truth to my heart
I need you to enable me to love
to serve
to care
to give
to be humble
to not faint
to not be envious
to not be embittered
to not become cynical

I need you to bring peace
contentment
joy
hope

When I feel the air in me diminishing and the panic rising
I want to grasp onto anything
people, things, desires
but you
are always there
waiting 

As I stand just within reach
watching if my son can
find a way to get air into his lungs,
I see how God the Father is standing
silent and near in my floundering
ready to reach out 
saying, "Get some air! Get some air!"

breathe out the old stale exhale of unusable air
casting all my care on you who care for me
breathe in your life giving Spirit
fresh, new, clean, what I need

and fly

12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:1-2