mindful of Christ - insecurity

For when I feel insecure, alone and uncared for


you care for those no one cares about

you are father to the fatherless
 
 

Psalm 68:5-6International Children’s Bible (ICB)

5 God is in his holy Temple.
    He is a father to orphans.
    He defends the widows.
6 God gives the lonely a home.
    He leads prisoners out with joy.
    But those who turn against God will live in a dry land.

you seek out the lost one

  12 “What do you think?
 If a man has a hundred sheep, 
 and one of them goes astray,
 does he not leave the ninety-nine 
 and go to the mountains 
 to seek the one that is straying? 

13 And if he should find it,
 assuredly, I say to you, 
he rejoices more over that sheep 
than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray.   
Matthew 18:12-13 NKJV


you came to seek and to save that which is lost

10 for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.”

Luke 19:10New King James Version (NKJV)

you lift up the beggar from the trash heap 
and set him with the princes of your people.

    He raises poor people up from the trash pile.
    He lifts needy people out of the ashes.
  He lets them sit with princes.
    He gives them places of honor.  

    I Samuel 2:8 NiRV

shame 

 i feel deeply ashamed
unwanted
un looked for
un sought out
un desired

thank you Lord
you are the God of the un's

you call those things that are not as though they are

said to Abraham  

17 (as it is written, “I have made you a father of many nations”[a])
 in the presence of Him whom he believed—God, who gives life to the dead
 and calls those things which do not exist as though they did;  Romans 4:17 NKJV

You spoke in nothingness and then there was
You called everything we see and touch and know our of nothingness

You are God of all the lack

“My grace is enough for you:
 for where there is weakness,
 my power is shown the more completely.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

you are glorified in our weakness
you are magnified in our need

help me to hear that again and again

my need is your opportunity
to shine forth

so you can be seen
not me

deep in your wounds my shame to hide
by his wounds we are healed
a safe place to be vulnerable
in your light
in your love

you are light
in whom there is no darkness at all

you are the light that shines in the darkness
and the darkness has not overcome it

  At the beginning God expressed himself. That personal expression, that word, was with God, and was God, and he existed with God from the beginning. All creation took place through him, and none took place without him. In him appeared life and this life was the light of mankind. The light still shines in the darkness and the darkness has never put it out.  John 1:1-5 Phillips


what better place to rest unseen than in the midst of bright shining light
bursting forth in all directions
a refuge for my self conscious weary soul

you are the outshining of who the Father is
the glory and beauty

no one needs to see me only you
You see me and that is enough

That was the true light which shines upon every man as he comes into the world. He came into the world—the world he had created—and the world failed to recognise him. He came into his own creation, and his own people would not accept him. Yet wherever men did accept him he gave them the power to become sons of God. These were the men who truly believed in him, and their birth depended not on the course of nature nor on any impulse or plan of man, but on God.

14-18 So the word of God became a human being and lived among us. We saw his splendor (the splendor as of a father’s only son), full of grace and truth.       John 1:9-14 Phillips

vulnerable

this is what it costs
being vulnerable

pride

let it drain out
it only leaves me high and dry
isolated and alone
oblivious to the reality of who I really am
and the depth of my need

face the truth

i need
i need you
i need others who have you

casting all your care
on Him
because
HE CARES FOR YOU

You Care
YOU CARE FOR ME

You are what I need
You are greater than even my greatest and deepest shame
lack  failure weakness and need

there is no pit so deep that you are not deeper still



"... that we should be holy and with out blame, before him in love" Ephesians 1:4

 holy
you desire us to be like you
to be full of you Holy Spirit
through and through
so that you seep and shine out in every way
in every interaction
more and more of you

"... that we should be holy and with out blame, before him in love" Ephesians 1:4

without blame
Only you can make us without blame
we are at fault in so much
but you never fail
always perfectly righteous
and perfectly good

"... that we should be holy and with out blame, before him in love" Ephesians 1:4

before him in love
you want us not far away
but before you
before you
in love

You look on us with great affection
tenderness
yearnings of kindness

facing one another
in full view and close

Praise you Lord
only Jesus can do this
but you want to
you long for this

"... that we should be holy and with out blame, before him in love" Ephesians 1:4


My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9 

 I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10 The Message

Mindful of Christ - envy

Like a red hot poker shoved into my soul is envy

a piercing burning that goes straight to the core

of the deepest levels of who I am and what I long for

Oh Lord, it hurts

coming suddenly and unexpectedly

a sudden boiling swirling typhoon of the soul


the pain of what I deeply wish and long for

but has not been granted


what I think would make things better
would make me better

what you have not given at this time
and quite possibly might not give

Oh Lord, I don't want this green poison in me
choking out you and blinding me toall the good you have so graciously given me

1 Corinthians 4:7-8The Message (MSG)

7-8 For who do you know that really knows you, knows your heart? 
And even if they did, is there anything they would discover in you that you could take credit for?

 Isn’t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God? 

So what’s the point of all this comparing and competing? 
You already have all you need.
You already have more access to God than you can handle. 
Without bringing either Apollos or me into it, you’re sitting on top of the world—at least God’s world—and we’re right there, sitting alongside you!

"Isn't everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God?"

Yes, everything, everything is a gift from you

You are the source of all life, all goodness, all everything that I need

You give different gifts to different people at different times in our lives

stop comparing

we all need you, desperately and deeply

we all receive from you, deeply and generously

What you want most to give, is YOURSELF

What I need most right here and now is YOU

You alone can cool the burning

You alone can fill to the brim and even overflowing with your love

your care, your goodness, your peace, your kindness, your self-control

your hope, your joy

Galatians 5The Message (MSG)

The Life of Freedom

5 Christ has set us free to live a free life...

13-15 It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. 

For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?

16-18 My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

19-21 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.

22-23 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

23-24 Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

25-26 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

Dear Lord,

there is so much in this passage that I need to hear and deep down absorb.

please help me to receive your words

to trust and receive you into our deepest parts

whatever pain we are experiencing right now

you want to set us free to know your love for us   deeply     truly

and to be enabled to love others

help me right now where I am today to receive the gift of your love

of your Holy Spirit 

to let your fruit grow in my life and let go of all I am clinging to to try to desperately meet my deep need of you

you give me yourself

you hold nothing back

you intend good for me

fill me with you

and your love 

enable me to love 

you are the greatest gift

i love you Lord

amen

mindful of Christ - Pain and Anger

I hurt

I am angry

very angry

26 “Be angry, and do not sin” James 1:20

how is this possible???

to be hurt and angry is not sin itself

but what do i do when I am here??

Thank you Thank you
you don't tell me
its no big deal
just let it go
why are you so upset

you don't deny that to be human is at times to be like a wounded animal
deeply wounded
in great pain
thrashing around
(Psalm 73:21-24)

the deep cry for justice
for care
for healing

you do not diminish or dismiss

You see all
You know all

in this
in this very place
I am known
I am seen
I am loved

Genesis 16:13The Message (MSG)

13 She answered God by name, praying to the God who spoke to her, 

“You’re the God who sees me!

“Yes! He saw me; and then I saw him!”

yes here is a woman in a very unjust and hard place 

yet you saw her

you loved her

you sought her out

you cared

you gave her hope and a promise for the future

it was a messy and terrible situation

she was suffering the effects of others choices

But God saw her

God loved her

not for anything she was 

not for anything she did

Because  YOU ARE LOVE

Jesus came to seek and save that which is lost

Oh Lord seek us out in our deep pain and strong anger

we need you

only you can heal, comfort and turn us from the path of wrath and destruction

You are the God who judges righteously

not in our time or way

But you see all

you know all

you put all on Christ

the sins of all

He took on and bore

to the death

there is forgiveness with you 

that you may be wondered at

You want to work in me 

and in this situation/relationship

in ways i could never imagine

if I let you work in me

right here 

right now

in the middle of this hot mess

James 1:20New King James Version (NKJV)

20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

19-21 Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life. 

James 1: 19-21 The Message


Write:
What is hurting?
Where is the pain?

Why am i angry?

what do I want ?
what do I need?

How can I see You who sees me right here and right now?

Yes, Lord, help me to let go of my wrath that will only make things worse
help me to see you suffering to redeem me instead of the sources of my pain and anger
help me to leave all this with you the Righteous Judge
make me your instrument of peace and healing
make me a salvation garden
so others can see you
i love you
Amen

related post :Do You See This Woman?

mindful of Christ - Fear

I am afraid

of so many things

people's hearts failing from fear

paralyzed and drowning in fear

How many times you say,

Don't be afraid

Fear Not

perfect love casts out fear  I John 4:18

only you are perfect

only your love is perfect

help me to believe and receive 

You

your perfect love

19 It was the first day of the week. That evening Jesus’ followers were together. The doors were locked, because they were afraid of the Jews.

 Then Jesus came and stood among them. 

He said, “Peace be with you!”

20 After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side....

24 Thomas (called Didymus) was not with the followers when Jesus came. Thomas was 1 of the 12. 25 The other followers told Thomas, “We saw the Lord.”

But Thomas said, “I will not believe it until I see the nail marks in his hands. And I will not believe until I put my finger where the nails were and put my hand into his side.”

26 A week later the followers were in the house again. Thomas was with them. The doors were locked, but Jesus came in and stood among them.

 He said, “Peace be with you!”

 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here. Look at my hands. Put your hand here in my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” 

 John 20:19 - 20 International Children's Bible

What Jesus gave to Thomas was himself

"put your finger here.

look at my hands. 

put your hand here in my side"

In the midst of my grief and struggles and terrors

YOU come saying, 'Peace be with you!"

YOU offer to me

not reasons

or explanations 

or my why's answered

or any security

except  YOURSELF

You invite me to touch YOU

where you were pierced

where you were rejected by those you came to love and save

where you were cruelly mocked and scorned

where you despised and abandoned 

even by your Heavenly Father

"My God! My God! Why have you Forsaken Me?"

Yes LORD

I see you

there is peace in you alone

Your love reaching out to me in a broken and scarred body

your willingness to suffer

not because you had to 

but because you chose to love

Because YOU ARE LOVE

You love me and have promised to be with me

no matter what

He loved his own until the end

Now before the Passover Feast, Jesus knew that His hour had come [and it was time] for Him to leave this world and return to the Father. Having [greatly] loved His own who were in the world, He loved them [and continuously loves them with His perfect love] to the end (eternally). John 13"1  Amplified

Write:

When feeling afraid - what am i feeling fear about?

what am I afraid of?

express it in words to you who love me

tell you all about it

See you and your perfect love

Isaiah 53

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+53

1 John 4:18aNew King James Version (NKJV)

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear,

Can I See Your Face?

Can I see your face?

What I really need is to see You, O Lord

there is so much I do not understand

so much that is painful for me to try to look squarely at and understand

so much that is bewildering and confusing


Thank you

you don't call me to be wise or understanding in myself

when I don't know what to think or say really -  that's okay


You have called me to know You

To see who You are

You invite me to see your beauty

to be drawn into your wonder

only You truly amaze



Oh Lord,
I am tired, and feeling lost
help me to turn away from all else

to look upon you in all your loveliness

You invite me like Thomas to see your scarred hands
to touch your wounded side

you were wounded in the house of your friends

rejected and despised by those you came to save

you understand the grief and bewilderment that betrayal brings

it is by your wounds that we are healed

But even more than this

You invite us to look up into your face

to see the glory of the Father shining out

14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

15 John bore witness of Him and cried out, saying, “This was He of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me is preferred before me, for He was before me.’”

16 And[e] of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace. 17 For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has seen God at any time. The only begotten Son,[f] who is in the bosom of the Father, He has declared Him.

Help us to be daily in your word so we can see you afresh day by day

Amen