On Dying
Dealing with Limits
Ode to my mom
Sometimes the answer to our fervent
longings and prayers is,
“No, my child. It is time for you to go.”
She did not hear the answer,
"benign"
"all clear"
"You will be okay."
She heard
"You have cancer,
for the third time."
"It has spread."
"Your chances are not good."
"You might die."
"Most certainly,
you will be fighting for your life."
She had a husband,
two kids, 11 and 13.
She had been responsible...
She had trusted what she had been told...
“I am sure it is nothing.
It will be okay...”
She would forfeit her life because of
the blind and false, easy confidence of another.
He was sure, so very sure...
She would not see her children grow up.
She would not see them marry
start a new life
create new lives
She would never meet her grandchildren.
And yet she was brave...
She did not crumple and faint.
She submitted her body to enumerable
sufferings, humiliations and degradations.
She gave her all to her family and did
not quit even while her body was quitting.
She did not crawl in a hole and let
self pity drown and smother her.
She kept the larger view.
She trusted God for all she did not
understand.
She loved
She served
She cared
She hoped, prayed, waited and
persevered
What did she say to her God?
What transpired between her soul and His?
How I wish I could know....
How did His grace flow through her so
strong
to keep her soul from withering in
this hot storm?
How did she accept the limits of her
life?
49 years and no more...
to care for her family this far and
no farther?
I think I am so powerful...
I think I can be in control of my life, my time, my relationships, my future
I think I can be in control of my life, my time, my relationships, my future
and yet my every breath is a gift.
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My life is limited
My time is limited
My energy is limited
My resources are limited
My understanding is limited
“For who makes you different from
anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive?
And if you did receive it, why do you
boast as though you did not?” I Corinthians 4:7 NIV
She accepted her limits
She found Jesus in the midst of it
all
without knowing it all
She triumphed...
Because she chose to find
His power
His peace, His enabling
His care, His hope
His love
post script:
While reading Boundaries
With Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend had an “Aha”
moment.....
written to the parent:
“You are in the business of removing omnipotent power
from your child to help her have real power over what is hers. In her
mind, you are taking away something she needs. To help her tolerate
the process, you will need to stay emotionally present with her.
Empathize with her fears of being helpless, her frustrations that she
can't control.... { fill in the blank _____ }
Help your child accept the limits of
his power by acceptance of yours. Admit your failure, weakness, and
limitations. But in addition, own what power you do have.” p.99
(Zondervan 1998)
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." II Corinthians 12:9 NIV
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." II Corinthians 12:9 NIV
I totally see God's heart here. How
painful to have to help us accept that we are not god ourselves but
to direct us to the real power that we do have in Him. That we can turn to Him and pour out our hearts to Him in prayer.
"Casting all our care upon Him, because He cares for us." 1 Peter 5:7
Not fatalism (I have no control at all)
nor having everything we want ( the illusion of perfectionism).
But a relationship
of care, love, understanding and continual communication
and communion of the deep places of my soul to God
and of God himself into the deep places of our lives.
nor having everything we want ( the illusion of perfectionism).
But a relationship
of care, love, understanding and continual communication
and communion of the deep places of my soul to God
and of God himself into the deep places of our lives.
“Deep
calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All
Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.”
Psalm
42:7 NAS 1995
"I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you."
John 14:18 KJV
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"I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you."
John 14:18 KJV
This is beautiful, friend. I'm so glad you shared it with me. Bless you. e.
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