mindful of Christ - insecurity

For when I feel insecure, alone and uncared for


you care for those no one cares about

you are father to the fatherless
 
 

Psalm 68:5-6International Children’s Bible (ICB)

5 God is in his holy Temple.
    He is a father to orphans.
    He defends the widows.
6 God gives the lonely a home.
    He leads prisoners out with joy.
    But those who turn against God will live in a dry land.

you seek out the lost one

  12 “What do you think?
 If a man has a hundred sheep, 
 and one of them goes astray,
 does he not leave the ninety-nine 
 and go to the mountains 
 to seek the one that is straying? 

13 And if he should find it,
 assuredly, I say to you, 
he rejoices more over that sheep 
than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray.   
Matthew 18:12-13 NKJV


you came to seek and to save that which is lost

10 for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.”

Luke 19:10New King James Version (NKJV)

you lift up the beggar from the trash heap 
and set him with the princes of your people.

    He raises poor people up from the trash pile.
    He lifts needy people out of the ashes.
  He lets them sit with princes.
    He gives them places of honor.  

    I Samuel 2:8 NiRV

shame 

 i feel deeply ashamed
unwanted
un looked for
un sought out
un desired

thank you Lord
you are the God of the un's

you call those things that are not as though they are

said to Abraham  

17 (as it is written, “I have made you a father of many nations”[a])
 in the presence of Him whom he believed—God, who gives life to the dead
 and calls those things which do not exist as though they did;  Romans 4:17 NKJV

You spoke in nothingness and then there was
You called everything we see and touch and know our of nothingness

You are God of all the lack

“My grace is enough for you:
 for where there is weakness,
 my power is shown the more completely.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

you are glorified in our weakness
you are magnified in our need

help me to hear that again and again

my need is your opportunity
to shine forth

so you can be seen
not me

deep in your wounds my shame to hide
by his wounds we are healed
a safe place to be vulnerable
in your light
in your love

you are light
in whom there is no darkness at all

you are the light that shines in the darkness
and the darkness has not overcome it

  At the beginning God expressed himself. That personal expression, that word, was with God, and was God, and he existed with God from the beginning. All creation took place through him, and none took place without him. In him appeared life and this life was the light of mankind. The light still shines in the darkness and the darkness has never put it out.  John 1:1-5 Phillips


what better place to rest unseen than in the midst of bright shining light
bursting forth in all directions
a refuge for my self conscious weary soul

you are the outshining of who the Father is
the glory and beauty

no one needs to see me only you
You see me and that is enough

That was the true light which shines upon every man as he comes into the world. He came into the world—the world he had created—and the world failed to recognise him. He came into his own creation, and his own people would not accept him. Yet wherever men did accept him he gave them the power to become sons of God. These were the men who truly believed in him, and their birth depended not on the course of nature nor on any impulse or plan of man, but on God.

14-18 So the word of God became a human being and lived among us. We saw his splendor (the splendor as of a father’s only son), full of grace and truth.       John 1:9-14 Phillips

vulnerable

this is what it costs
being vulnerable

pride

let it drain out
it only leaves me high and dry
isolated and alone
oblivious to the reality of who I really am
and the depth of my need

face the truth

i need
i need you
i need others who have you

casting all your care
on Him
because
HE CARES FOR YOU

You Care
YOU CARE FOR ME

You are what I need
You are greater than even my greatest and deepest shame
lack  failure weakness and need

there is no pit so deep that you are not deeper still



"... that we should be holy and with out blame, before him in love" Ephesians 1:4

 holy
you desire us to be like you
to be full of you Holy Spirit
through and through
so that you seep and shine out in every way
in every interaction
more and more of you

"... that we should be holy and with out blame, before him in love" Ephesians 1:4

without blame
Only you can make us without blame
we are at fault in so much
but you never fail
always perfectly righteous
and perfectly good

"... that we should be holy and with out blame, before him in love" Ephesians 1:4

before him in love
you want us not far away
but before you
before you
in love

You look on us with great affection
tenderness
yearnings of kindness

facing one another
in full view and close

Praise you Lord
only Jesus can do this
but you want to
you long for this

"... that we should be holy and with out blame, before him in love" Ephesians 1:4


My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9 

 I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10 The Message

Your banner over me is love

NET

He brought me into the banquet hall, and he looked at me lovingly.

NIRV

Lead me to the dinner hall. Let your banner of love be lifted high above me.

NIV

Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love.

NOG

He leads me into a banquet room and looks at me with love.

NABRE

He brought me to the banquet hall and his glance at me signaled love.

NASB

“He has brought me to his banquet hall, And his banner over me is love.

TLB

He brings me to the banquet hall, and everyone can see how much he loves me.     Song of Songs 2:4

What if I were to  really believe this???




how would it be if I really lived in this reality?

your banner over me

is love





She is loved

not because
she is worthy

not because
 she deserves it

not because
 she has achieved

not because
 she has _________

not because
 she is anything
   in herself

But because I AM LOVE

and my love is enough for all

my love is for all

for any and for all
 willing to receive it

Jesus makes this relationship of love possible

He is worthy
He has done
He is
He laid down his perfect life
to take my fallen and broken one

to take away my failings and shortcomings
and all that I sense is just not enough




because it is not dependent on me

I cannot break it or undo it


As I just believe Him and  receive this love
it lifts up a banner that shows for all to see

She is complete in me

She is mine

I love her

I will be with her always

I will never leave her not forsake her

She is my beloved

I know her faults, weaknesses, even outright sins
better than you ever will

And yet because of my perfect Son

I can draw her close to me

in tenderness and affection

I have made a way for her to be near to me forever

never to have to leave or go away

I am her Father

I am her Refuge

I am her Sanctuary

I am her Safe Haven

I am her Protector

I am her Teacher and Guide

I am her Wonderful Counselor

I am her Peace

and through her
I wish to bring all others around her
 to know how much I love them as well

How I am their deepest longing and hope

I am their deepest comfort and joy

I AM


Is this what the banner over me for all to see and read says most days.......???



The reason I don't live in this reality is that it conflicts
 it conflicts with what I feel inside
 it conflicts with what I am experiencing
 it definitely conflicts
with what I feel others think and see about me


 most days the banner over my head says

"frustrated, overwhelmed, worried, exhausted, afraid, sad

even 
 angry, bitter, feeling shameful and unloved

and sometimes even
 feeling undesired, rejected, isolated and despairing


but this conflict between what I feel and experience
 is really a forced crossroads of the heart

what will I choose to believe?
your love or what I feel
your truth or what I think is true
you over what I want others to be to me


the identity I have in Christ
or what others view me as
even what I view myself as

The Way Up is the Way OUT

an audience of one
only one's smile that I need

ONLY YOU

to hear you say, "Well done good and faithful servant.  Enter into the joy of your Lord"

AMP

His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little, I will put you in charge of many things; share in the joy of your master.’

the work of God is for you to believe

John 6:29J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

29 “The work of God for you,” replied Jesus, “is to believe in the one whom he has sent to you.”

this is the message to all of us:

you are beloved
not because of you at all
but because of HIM

He makes it possible

therefore it is possible for all

for all willing to trust and believe
not that they are great in and of themselves
but that you are love

Romans 3:23-26J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

God’s new plan—righteousness by faith, not through the Law

21-26 But now we are seeing the righteousness of God declared quite apart from the Law (though amply testified to by both Law and Prophets)—it is a righteousness imparted to, and operating in, all who have faith in Jesus Christ. (For there is no distinction to be made anywhere: everyone has sinned, everyone falls short of the beauty of God’s plan.) Under this divine system a man who has faith is now freely acquitted in the eyes of God by his generous dealing in the redemptive act of Jesus Christ.

Romans 3:23-24Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

23 For all have sinned and fall short of the[a] glory of God. 24 They are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.

Romans 3:23-24The Message (MSG)

God Has Set Things Right

21-24 But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.

all fall short

all can be recovered by Jesus

to knowing YOU and being loved by YOU

there is enough  for all

no one is better than any one else before God

no exclusiveness
no zero sum game

You are what we all need

Praise you Lord

You are beautiful and awesome

[ The Solution Is Life on God’s Terms ] With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

Romans 8:1-2 MSG

7-10 Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we’re a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

Ephesians 1:7-10 The Message

VOICE

He placed me at his banquet table, for everyone to see that his banner over me declares his love.

TLB

He brings me to the banquet hall, and everyone can see how much he loves me.

Song of Songs 2:4

safe haven

We all need a safe place to be
A home where we belong
Where there is room for us to rest

To be loved and accepted
To be protected and provided for

Safe from sharp words and cruel judgements
Safe from scorn and shame
Safe from fear and anxiety

safe from crippling insecurity

safe from disappointment and loss

We cannot create or sustain such a refuge for ourselves

You 

You alone are that place

Isaiah 32:2King James Version (KJV)

2 And a man shall be as an hiding place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place, as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land.

Isaiah 32:1-2(The Message (MSG)

Safe Houses, Quiet Gardens

32 1-2 But look! A king will rule in the right way,
    and his leaders will carry out justice.
Each one will stand as a shelter from high winds,
    provide safe cover in stormy weather.
Each will be cool running water in parched land,
    a huge granite outcrop giving shade in the desert.

You alone are that safe haven

You alone are our refuge

Our hiding place

Our place of belonging

Our home

For now and forever

Praise you, and we take refuge in you

Let you be the wonderful king in my heart

You make us to be that place of refuge for others

a safe haven 

it is a choice of trust

John 14   (International Children’s Bible (ICB)

Jesus Comforts His Followers

14 Jesus said, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God. And trust in me. 2 There are many rooms in my Father’s house. I would not tell you this if it were not true. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3 After I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back. Then I will take you to be with me so that you may be where I am.

Don't let your heart be troubled

Don't let implies I do have a choice

Not because of me 

But because of who you are and all that you, Jesus,have done

There is room
There is plenty of room in the Father's heart for me for me

but not just me

for all
An individual place for each and every one

He loves with a powerful deep and eternal love
It is what we long for with our deepest being

John 14The Message (MSG)

The Road

14 1-4 “Don’t let this throw you. You trust God, don’t you? Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father’s home. If that weren’t so, would I have told you that I’m on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I’m on my way to get your room ready, I’ll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I’m taking.”

5 Thomas said, “Master, we have no idea where you’re going. How do you expect us to know the road?”

6-7 Jesus said, “I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You’ve even seen him!”

8 Philip said, “Master, show us the Father; then we’ll be content.”

9-10 “You’ve been with me all this time, Philip, and you still don’t understand? To see me is to see the Father. So how can you ask, ‘Where is the Father?’ Don’t you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I speak to you aren’t mere words. I don’t just make them up on my own. The Father who resides in me crafts each word into a divine act.

How do we come to know you as our loving Father? 

As we open our hearts to receive and put our trust in Jesus, we are born anew as children of God

This is why Jesus came to be born as one of us
A helpless and vulnerable baby
To experience every agony that we do 

But also to obey his Heavenly Father

and willingly lay down his life

as a sacrifice for our sins and wrong doing

How can you trust someone you do not know?

Knowing and trusting in Jesus is intimately connected with his words and actions

Trying to understand who he is and what he is doing by looking at the circumstances I find myself in now

is confusing because my viewpoint is limited to the here and now and what I feel

this is no kind of foundation as it fluctuates daily, hourly

He has given us his words as a diving act

to help us to see who He really is

to know what He truly is like

Faith and trust in Jesus Christ are intimately connected with His words

If I want to trust in Him, 

I must be willing to spend time

hearing his words

contemplating them

letting them impact me

seeking to understand them

This is not a quick or easy process

there is much in his words and actions given to me in the Bible

that are upsetting, confusing, perplexing, troubling

But the building of any lasting relationship takes time and such prolonged effort

It is never easy, quick or without difficulties

It is a relationship that He is seeking with us as well

not rules to be followed 

or good principles for a happy life

But a relationship of trust with Himself

I can talk to you 

you are seeking me 

8 Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father. That is all we need.”

9 Jesus answered, “I have been with you a long time now. Do you still not know me, Philip? He who has seen me has seen the Father. So why do you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words I say to you don’t come from me. The Father lives in me, and he is doing his own work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me.

Oh Lord I do want to trust in you, 

Help me to see you and know you more

to chose to trust in you, especially when it is not easy at all

to know you as the safe haven 

John 1:12-14  (International Children’s Bible (ICB)

12 But some people did accept him. They believed in him. To them he gave the right to become children of God. 13 They did not become his children in the human way. They were not born because of the desire or wish of some man. They were born of God.

14 The Word became a man and lived among us. We saw his glory—the glory that belongs to the only Son of the Father. The Word was full of grace and truth.

Yes, Lord, 

show us your glory

you are full of grace and truth

praise you

lack of sweetness and the wellspring

Yes
there are many things that are sweet and times of sweetness
But there is also pain, terrible pain in this life

pain so excruciatingly sharp, deep and profound that is sucks down all sweetness

all the more so because so much pain we experience
seems to have no discernible point at all
and/or may seem endless in scope
with no hope of change or resolution in sight

Living lives of quiet desperation even while seemingly whole and fine to superficial view

What to do with all of this pain?
Where to find any sweetness great enough to mitigate all this suffering
How to bear, endure, and heal?

Can a human being live without some sense of being loved
of being cared for
desired
enjoyed
and able to contribute in meaningful ways to the lives of others

I can distract myself with a flurry of activity
entertain myself with a myriad of attractions and escapes mentally physically, emotionally spiritually
delude myself by taking refuge in lies and distortions

But truth has a way of confronting us
giving me the opportunity to face it
if  I am willing

Jesus says," I am the Way the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father except by me" John 14:6

He is the truth and if I want to know God and trust in Him, it necessitates experiencing truth

not just truth about eternity, life after death, and my spiritual state
truth about my life right now as well
the truth about me

and the truth is
I am more needy than I am aware of

the need is deep
profound
and cannot truly be met
by any friend
meaningful service or achievement
by a spouse
or children
by education
or luxury
or power
or esteem
or education
or fitness
or even by positive thinking
or an attitude of gratitude alone
or hope that things will change in the future
or ______________
fill in the blank

These are all wonderful things
beautiful and wonderful gifts
meant to be taken with gratitude and enjoyed

but if I am honest
they are never enough
to fill and heal my deepest longings and hurts and desires

I am left with really only two choices

a fluctuating sense of despair
that is sometimes bearable and other times not
or
God




What does it mean to trust in God?

1-3 A white-tailed deer drinks
    from the creek;
I want to drink God,
    deep draughts of God.
I’m thirsty for God-alive.
I wonder, “Will I ever make it—
    arrive and drink in God’s presence?”
I’m on a diet of tears—
    tears for breakfast, tears for supper.
All day long
    people knock at my door,
Pestering,
    “Where is this God of yours?”

yes, deep longings that only the fullness of God himself can assuage 
the assumptions of many, even myself, that if I am trusting in God
shouldn't things be going better than they are? 
Why does God seem absent when I need Him the most?

4 These are the things I go over and over,
    emptying out the pockets of my life.
I was always at the head of the worshiping crowd,
    right out in front,
Leading them all,
    eager to arrive and worship,
Shouting praises, singing thanksgiving—
    celebrating, all of us, God’s feast!

yes I have experienced times of being filled with worship and joy in you

5 Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
    Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God—
    soon I’ll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
    He’s my God.

yes, the way up is always with you and not with me
or trying to understand what is going on
from my very limited point of view
but seeing again and again 
Who You Are

6-8 When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse
    everything I know of you,
From Jordan depths to Hermon heights,
    including Mount Mizar.
Chaos calls to chaos,
    to the tune of whitewater rapids.
Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers
    crash and crush me.
Then God promises to love me all day,
    sing songs all through the night!
    My life is God’s prayer.

yes, let me rehearse all I know of you
may I ever know you more and more  
even while experiencing chaos upon chaos  
it is your thundering breakers that wash over me 
but you promise yourself to me 
an avenue for my soul to communicate with you in songs and in prayer 
to express the pain and perplexities I feel 
along with the acknowledgement of who you are and all you have done 
to bring me into this relationship of love with you  
only through Jesus can I know you and see you

9-10 Sometimes I ask God, my rock-solid God,
    “Why did you let me down?
Why am I walking around in tears,
    harassed by enemies?”
They’re out for the kill, these
    tormentors with their obscenities,
Taunting day after day,
    “Where is this God of yours?”

yes, you want me to talk with you, 
ask you my questions 
talk with you about what I am experiencing 
and how I feel
you are my refuge
my safe haven 

11 Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
    Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God—
    soon I’ll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
    He’s my God.

Psalm 42 The Message

yes, Lord bring me to joy in you and rest in who you are 
waiting on you and your working and timing

Jesus is the good shepherd who seeks out the lost
You are seeking me in this
Help me not to harden my heart 
and shut you out in my pain and anger and despair

You want to come and find me
You want to be with me
Right here and now
where I am
Please find me
save me

You are with me 
Yes, that is what I need the most

You are the only true wellspring of joy
the only deep balm of comfort and peace

Praise you