Please take this splinter out

Yesterday afternoon I looked down to discover that a 1/4 in splinter had wedged itself somehow under the skin on the middle finger of my right hand. I have no idea how it got there or when it happened but there it is.

There is not enough of an edge to pull out either way.

Being in my finger means that I only have the 5 other fingers on one hand to try to do the job of  trying to grasp and remove this foreign object from inside my first line of defense for my body - my skin

I cannot do this job myself.

It is a relative simple job and will only take 10-15 min and the right tool(s).

But I cannot do it alone.

I need help from another.

I got so busy last night that the tiny pressure from the splinter, while mildly discomforting, was not enough to remind me to ask someone to help me.
It got put off and forgotten.

I woke up at 5 in the morning. Oh, my finger hurts. Why is that?

Oh yeah I forgot about that splinter

the offending object shoved into me
the small break off point of something I handled
remains lodged in me still

how I let things that happen to me
words that are said to me
actions of others that I experiece
get under my skin
lodge into me
remain with me long after I am no longer around that person or event
affecting me long after

It is when all is quiet and calm that the pain and pressure present themselves
perhaps this is why so many of us avoid the quiet and the calm?

It is 9 am now
there is a red area around the splinter about 1/4 inch in diameter
The pain is stronger now and not so easy to forget about

My body is trying to remain healthy
but this foreign object is fighting against that
 a continual source of contamination as long as it is jammed inside of me.

It will still only take 10-15 min to remove
but now I had better use some antibacterial cream
and soak it in hot water a few times
to make sure the germs that are rapidly multiplying are vanquished

again the lesson - my body needs help and support from somewhere outside of itself

but now the amount of effort it will take to heal has gone up dramatically

With the passing of time and left untreated
 this will turn into a trip to Urgent Care
the germs do not care about my scedule or the other plans I had for this time
they have their own agenda...

I am home alone

I have asked a friend and neighbor to help me

I am afraid others will be busy
will be annoyed at the interruption of my need
the claim my need will make on them

but it is a need
I must seek help
I need help

no matter how someone may respond or not respond

I must seek out assistance

Matthew 7:1-5J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

7 1-2 “Don’t criticise people, and you will not be criticised. For you will be judged by the way you criticise others, and the measure you give will be the measure you receive.”

3-5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and fail to notice the plank in your own? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me get the speck out of your eye’, when there is a plank in your own? You fraud! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you can see clearly enough to remove your brother’s speck of dust.”

J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

J. B. Phillips, "The New Testament in Modern English", 1962 edition by HarperCollins

We all need help so be careful how you look at and treat others

How interesting

a splinter, a log, a plank, not just in my finger affecting what I can and cannot do but in my eye distorting how I see and view others and their words and actions

over time the body can build a callous around something and you no longer feel it anymore

it becomes part of you

Oh Lord, I see I see

I see how my own pride, my own self-pity, my own resentments, my own pain and insecurity have stuck into me

in my eye

twisting and distorting all I see and how I respond to others

the remnants of past wounds still remain to poison the present

Yet you tell me to remove my own splnter

in my eye no less!

HOW?

Maybe this means to come before you and let you show it to me, make me aware of it

but then ask you to remove it

Oh Lord, I need you 

I need you so much

I need you to help me face the pain I bury

the hurts that have festered

there is nerve damage

I no longer feel or am aware of these splinters in my soul

until someone inadvertently hits one and WOW

such a reaction

they are confused

what I am saying and doing is so out of porportion to what they said or did

Why?

Oh Lord, 

I need your healing touch in me

O Divive Doctor you

diagnose for your diagnosis is always spot on

peel back the layers of denial, anger, blaming and excusing

to cut to the core of the problem

my hurt and need of you

help me to not make excuse or blameshift

to lay still and quiet as you use your word (it is perfectly sterile and will not add in further contamination) to slice in

to grasp 

to pull out

it is painful and humiliating 

but oh what a relief

to see clearly

to understand truth in each situation and relationship

to be unencumbered to respond in love to what another needs

instead of reacting out of my____________

Matthew 7:7-12J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you. Search and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened for you. The one who asks will always receive; the one who is searching will always find, and the door is opened to the man who knocks.”

9-11 “If any of you were asked by his son for bread would you be likely to give him a stone, or if he asks for a fish would you give him a snake? If you then, for all your evil, quite naturally give good things to your children, how much more likely is it that your Heavenly Father will give good things to those who ask him?”

12 “Treat other people exactly as you would like to be treated by them—this is the essence of all true religion.”

J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

J. B. Phillips, "The New Testament in Modern English", 1962 edition by HarperCollins

Matthew 6:22-23New International Reader's Version (NIRV)

22 “The eye is like a lamp for the body. Suppose your eyes are good. Then your whole body will be full of light. 23 But suppose your eyes are bad. Then your whole body will be full of darkness. If the light inside you is darkness, then it is very dark!

New International Reader's Version (NIRV)

Copyright © 1996, 1998 by Biblica

John 13 New International Reader's Version (NIRV)

Jesus Washes His Disciples’ Feet

13 It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world. It was time for him to go to the Father. Jesus loved his disciples who were in the world. So he now showed them how much he really loved them.

2 The evening meal was being served. The devil had already tempted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon. He had told Judas to hand Jesus over to his enemies. 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put everything under his power. He also knew he had come from God and was returning to God.

4 So he got up from the meal and took off his outer clothes. He wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a large bowl. Then he began to wash his disciples’ feet. He dried them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

6 He came to Simon Peter.

“Lord,” Peter said to him, “are you going to wash my feet?”

7 Jesus replied, “You don’t realize now what I am doing. But later you will understand.”

8 “No,” said Peter. “You will never wash my feet.”

Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you can’t share life with me.”

9 “Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet! Wash my hands and my head too!”

10 Jesus answered, “A person who has had a bath needs to wash only his feet. The rest of his body is clean. And you are clean. But not all of you are.”

11 Jesus knew who was going to hand him over to his enemies. That was why he said not every one was clean.

12 When Jesus finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes. Then he returned to his place.

“Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. 13 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord.’ You are right. That is what I am. 14 I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet. So you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have given you an example. You should do as I have done for you.

16 “What I’m about to tell you is true. A servant is not more important than his master. And a messenger is not more important than the one who sends him. 17 Now you know these things. So you will be blessed if you do them.

Sweet potent perfume

Anointing His Feet

36-39 One of the Pharisees asked him over for a meal. He went to the Pharisee’s house and sat down at the dinner table. Just then a woman of the village, the town harlot, having learned that Jesus was a guest in the home of the Pharisee, came with a bottle of very expensive perfume and stood at his feet, weeping, raining tears on his feet. Letting down her hair, she dried his feet, kissed them, and anointed them with the perfume. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man was the prophet I thought he was, he would have known what kind of woman this is who is falling all over him.”

40 Jesus said to him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”

“Oh? Tell me.”

41-42 “Two men were in debt to a banker. One owed five hundred silver pieces, the other fifty. Neither of them could pay up, and so the banker canceled both debts. Which of the two would be more grateful?”

43-47 Simon answered, “I suppose the one who was forgiven the most.”

“That’s right,” said Jesus. Then turning to the woman, but speaking to Simon, he said, “Do you see this woman? I came to your home; you provided no water for my feet, but she rained tears on my feet and dried them with her hair. You gave me no greeting, but from the time I arrived she hasn’t quit kissing my feet. You provided nothing for freshening up, but she has soothed my feet with perfume. Impressive, isn’t it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.”

48 Then he spoke to her: “I forgive your sins.”

49 That set the dinner guests talking behind his back: “Who does he think he is, forgiving sins!”

50 He ignored them and said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”

The Message (MSG)

Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

she didn't come to correct even when there were obvious issues and needs ( not to say there is not a time to speak the truth in love to help another)

but on this occaision

quite possibly she never spoke at all
if she did, her words are nor recorded for us

just her actions

She saw only one person in that whole full room

she came to pour out on Christ
it came with a breaking
an irrevocable breaking (other translations state the jar of perfume had to be broken to release the perfume)

but then the smell of the perfume broke upon the scene
wafting gently through the air
carried to every hidden corner
every nook and cranny
filling the house
anoiting all who were present

affecting all who were nearby
none could avoid it
all in proximity were affected

some for the better
some for the worse
but none were the same

this passage from 1Peter 2: 21- 3:4 is complex and easily misunderstood but I believe it shows one thing clearly

I can have a powerful affect on others
even difficult others
by focusing on Jesus
on how he lived, responded and interfaced with our suffering, our need

1 Peter 2:21-3:6The Message (MSG)

21-25 This is the kind of life you’ve been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step.

He never did one thing wrong,
Not once said anything amiss.

They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right. He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you’re named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.

Cultivate Inner Beauty

3 1-4 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.

4-6 Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

The Message (MSG)

Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

seeing his love,
his humility
his care
his selflessness

it changes me
it draws my heart to his beauty

all else fades into the background  (see note below)

seeing him changes me

as I change - the aroma of his sweet love can spread from me

this person in front of me
who ever it may be
with all their complexity
with all thier difficulty
and difficultness

is really just the opportunity Jesus is giving
 to pour out
not even my own perfume
but the most expensive
the most lovely and beautiful aroma there is

sweet Jesus

showing mercy with cheerfulness
showing care and bringing hope
patient and kind and strong as steel
firm and unchanging and brave
yet gentle and kind and tender

sometimes I feel so frustrated
so helpless
there is so little one can do to really change circumstances or another person
even one's own self

difficult and challenging relationships and situations

I am so glad he does not say it is simple
or a quick and easy fix in three steps

He of all most knows that relationships are difficult
painful
even bloody and cruel
it was so for him
to the extreme

but it is not really about that other person at all

it is about you

they don't deserve _______ !
I don't deserve _________ !

I can't love them with what they need
they can't love me with  what I need

we all need you, sweet Jesus

I cannot choose for another
I cannot change another

I can only choose to come to you, sweet Jesus
and pour out my soul to you
all my longings and despair
all my passion and desire
all my words
all my heart
all my tears

you listen
you care
you understand
you empathize

you do not excuse
you do not minimize
dismiss or make light of any of it

You know what it is to be human, fully human with all its confusion and complexity

You cool my burning
You soothe my wounds
You calm my mind
You comfort my heart
You bring new life
new hope
new love
forgivenes and the opportunity
to begin again


we pour out on you by pouring out your love on those who are in front of us
to love the one God has put in front of me
this is how I pour out love on you

it has an effect

Ephesians 5:1-2New King James Version (NKJV)

Walk in Love

5 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

New King James Version (NKJV)

The Holy Bible, New King James Version Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson,

2 Corinthians 2:14-15The Message (MSG)

 In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade. Through us, he brings knowledge of Christ. Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance. Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation—an aroma redolent with life.

a perpetual victory parade not because it all goes the way I want it to
or I do everything right

but because I am seeing you in all your beauty
I am inhaling your life changing chemistry

and even the exhale can be sweet to you and all around

we love because you have first loved us

(NOTE - if you think you might be in an abusive or unsafe relationship - please be honest and admit this is a possibilty and get help.  Find a counselor, neighbor, friend, family member to help you be safe.)

(Second note - The passage in 1 Peter 3:1-6 is focusing on the relatinship between wives and husbands, I believe the same overall principle applies to any relationship - as I change through my relationship with Jesus Christ, it affects how I view and interact with others in any relationship because I am an active ingredient in this relationship!

Living in Love Without Shame

"the man and the woman were both naked and were not ashamed" Genesis 2:25 ESV

God did not create us to live in shame but in relationships of care, truth and intimacy with himself and others.

Shame corrodes and corrupts and isolates from God and from others

"Weary of selfishness and pride,
False pleasures gone, vain hopes denied,
Deep in Thy wounds my shame to hide,
  Christ crucified, I come."
 from the hymn "Drawn to the Cross, Which Thou Hast Blest"

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/nt/1049/j=a&jbl=30&pt=c&pn=9&pjbl=25&nt=c&nn=12&njbl=15&lpn=1&clpn=1&jil=30#ixzz2hocThtPv

    One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to eat with him. Jesus went into the Pharisee's house and sat down at the table. A sinful woman in the town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house. So she brought an alabaster jar of perfume. She stood at Jesus' feet, crying , and began to wash his feet with her tears. She dried his feet with her hair, kissed them many times and rubbed them with them with the perfume. The Pharisee who asked Jesus to come to his house saw this. He thought to himself, 'If  Jesus were a prophet, he would know that the woman who is touching him is a sinner!"

              Jesus said to the Pharisee, 'Simon, I have something to say to you.'

    Simon said, 'Teacher, tell me.'

    Jesus said, ' There were two men. Both men owed money to the same banker. One man owed the banker 500 silver coins. THe other man owed the banker 50 silver coins. The men had no money; so they could not pay what they owed. But the banker told the men that they did not have to pay him. Which one of the two men will love the banker more?
     Simon, the Pharisee, answered, 'I think it would be the one who owed him the most money.'
     Jesus said to Simon, 'You are right.'
     Then Jesus turned toward the woman and said to Simon, 'Do you see this woman? When I came into your house, you gave me no water for my feet.  

But she washed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. 

You did not kiss me, but she has been kissing my feet since I came in!

           You did not rub my head with oil, but she rubbed my feet with perfume.

           I tell you that her many sins are forgiven.
           This is clear because she showed great love.
           But the person who has only a little to be forgiven will feel only a little love.'

Then Jesus said to her, 'Your sins are forgiven.' 

The people sitting at the table began to think to themselves,                                         'Who is this man? How can he forgive sins?'

Jesus said to the woman, 'Because you believed, you are saved from your sins. 

Go in peace.'"

           Luke 7:36-50 International Children's Bible

He has sent me to announce the time when the Lord will show his kindness...                He has sent me to comfort all those who are sad.                                                               He has sent me to the sorrowing people of Jerusalem.                                                                 I will give them a crown to replace their ashes.                                                                                 I will give them the oil of gladness to replace their sorrow.                                                             I will give them clothes of praise to replace the spirit of sadness.                                           Then they will be called Trees of Goodness.                                                                        They will be like trees planted by the Lord and will show his greatness."                    Isaiah 61:2-3 ICB

"But he took our suffering on him and felt our pain for us.                                                      We saw his suffering.                                                                                                            We thought God was punishing him.                                                                                              But he was wounded for the wrong things that we did.                                                            He was crushed for the evil things that we did.                                                                          The punishment, which made us well was given to him.                                                              And we are healed because of his wounds."                                                                          Isaiah 53:4-5 ICB

Shame

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shame

Shame is, variously, an affect, emotion, cognition, state, or condition. The roots of the word shame are thought to derive from an older word meaning "to cover"; as such, covering oneself, literally or figuratively, is a natural expression of shame.^[1] 

 ^ Lewis, Helen B. (1971), Shame and guilt in neurosis, International University Press, New York, p. 63, ISBN0-8236-8307-9 

A "sense of shame" is the consciousness or awareness of shame as a state or condition. Such shame cognition may occur as a result of the experience of shame affect or, more generally, in any situation of embarrassment, dishonor, disgrace, inadequacy,humiliation, or chagrin.^[3]

A condition or state of shame may also be assigned externally, by others, regardless of one's own experience or awareness. "To shame" generally means to actively assign or communicate a state of shame to another. 

^ Broucek, Francis (1991), Shame and the Self, Guilford Press, New York, p. 5,ISBN 0-89862-444-40-8236-8307-9

Psychoanalyst Helen B. Lewis argued that, "The experience of shame is directly about the self, which is the focus of evaluation. In guilt, the self is not the central object of negative evaluation, but rather the thing done is the focus."^[6] Similarly, Fossum and Mason say in their book Facing Shame that "While guilt is a painful feeling of regret and responsibility for one's actions, shame is a painful feeling about oneself as a person."^[7

Following this line of reasoning, Psychiatrist Judith Lewis Herman concludes that "Shame is an acutely self-conscious state in which the self is 'split,' imagining the self in the eyes of the other; by contrast, in guilt the self is unified."^[8

Simply put: A person who feels guilt is saying "I did something bad.", while someone who feels shame is saying "I am bad". There is a big difference between the two. 

1. Jump up^ Lewis, Helen B. (1971), Shame and guilt in neurosis, International University Press, New York, ISBN 0-8236-8307-9
2. Jump up^ Fossum, Merle A.; Mason, Marilyn J. (1986), Facing Shame: Families in Recovery,W.W. Norton, p. 5, ISBN 0-393-30581-3
3. Jump up^ Herman, Judith Lewis (2007), "Shattered Shame States and their Repair", The John Bowlby Memorial Lecture

Simon the Pharisee said,
'If Jesus were a prophet, he would know that the woman who was touching him is sinner!" 
Luke 7:39

But Jesus did know...
He knew even more than Simon knew....

He knew it all..
every last sordid detail of every wrong and destructive choice

But he also knew
the regret
the shame
the desperate cry for love
for being loved

to be cherished
to be beloved
to be welcomed with open arms, full embrace and eyes lit up with joy

to belong
to be a part
to be meaningfully connected
in deep, personal, intimate and mutually desired relationship

He knew that she loved him

He knew    she knew that she only loved him because he had loved her first
you love a person not a choice not an action but a person

She knew she was not worthy
did not merit or do anything to earn his love

But she was loved, this she knew

loved completely, absolutely, thoroughly

there was no need to try to hide anything from him
there was nothing he did not see
there was nothing he did not know
He was perfectly clear about
the selfishness
the rebellion
the destructive pride
the refusal to listen
the persistence in sin
the putting of other people and things before him
the rejection of his grace before

But he saw beyond
the acts, choices, attitudes and words

to who he had made her to be
to who he wanted to make her to be
to who he was able to make her now

He saw her, all of her
He saw with kindness, with empathy, with understanding, with crystal clarity
He did not make excuse, deny, deflect or shift blame

He atoned
He forgave
He covered her
He accepted her
He loved her
He cherished her
He desired her
He hoped for her
He longed to transform
to renew
to recreate
His likeness in her
to bring her to what he has always intended for her

He knew the power of God
to cleanse
to forgive
to pardon
 to justify
to change
to transform
to create anew

He knew who she was
He knew who He was

She knew only Him in a room full of those who did not know who was really there with them that day

She knew she could pour out her love on him and he would not reject
he would not scorn
he would not despise or disdain

He would receive
appreciate
admire
respect
respond in love and gratitude

They were all in the same room but these two knew a completely different universe

Oh, Simon, if only you knew who it was who was in your house that day,
who it was among you
with you

You would have poured out your tears on his beautiful feet
for they were bringing the good news of the gospel of peace

You would have been free from caring what anyone else thought at all
free even from what you thought about yourself at all

a burning, fiery, passionate love would have consumed you so completely
as to leave your old self
old life
old desires
old pursuits
old wants
old vices
all behind in a blinding flash

an all consuming, passionate love
a blazing connection
igniting 

"For our God is a consuming fire" Hebrews 12:29 KJV

"Put me like a seal on your heart, like a seal on your arm. Love is as strong as eath. Desire is as strong as the grave. Love bursts into flames. It burns like a very hot fire. Even much water cannot put our the flame of love. Floods cannot drown love. If a man offered everything in his house for love, people would totally reject it."                       Song of Solomon 8:6-7

If human love can be described this way, how much more God, who is love himself
able to burn away all impurities, all traces of contamination, to purify
to bring us to himself
he wants love in return
not only things and actions
but my whole person
actions springing from this source of love

Oh to see you, to know you
to let your holy fire burn within
so that we are nevermore the same old selfish, stale, self-centered sinner

but pouring our our love on you and on one another for all to see
tears of amazement
gratitude
wonder
crazy love
kneeling
wiping with our hair
You
the one whom all our hearts truly long for

She alone, in this house, knew who He was
a priceless treasure none could ever take away from her
a precious person for whom all could be sacrificed

"The slave girl gave a name to the Lord who spoke to her. She said to him,                                'You are 'God who sees me.'''                                                                                                    This is because she said to herself, 'Have I really seen God who sees me?'"  

Genesis 16:13 ICB

Your love was enough to enable Hagar to return to a difficult situation and remain there instead of fleeing away.
You can enable me to love the one or ones that you have put in front of me
to love them as I would love you      as you are loving me

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you did for me" Matthew 25:40 NIV

There is therefore now, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."     Romans 8:1 

an example of one such woman: Perpetua
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/131christians/martyrs/perpetua.html

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