Saturday, February 21, 2015

The Joy of Being Loved

Luke 15:11-32J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

11-19 Then he continued, “Once there was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the property that will come to me.’ So he divided up his property between the two of them. Before very long, the younger son collected all his belongings and went off to a foreign land, where he squandered his wealth in the wildest extravagance. And when he had run through all his money, a terrible famine arose in that country, and he began to feel the pinch. Then he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country who sent him out into the fields to feed the pigs. He got to the point of longing to stuff himself with the food the pigs were eating and not a soul gave him anything. Then he came to his senses and cried aloud, ‘Why, dozens of my father’s hired men have got more food than they can eat and here I am dying of hunger! I will get up and go back to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have done wrong in the sight of Heaven and in your eyes. I don’t deserve to be called your son any more. Please take me on as one of your hired men.”’
20-24 So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still some distance off, his father saw him and his heart went out to him, and he ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. But his son said, ‘Father, I have done wrong in the sight of Heaven and in your eyes. I don’t deserve to be called your son any more ....’ ‘Hurry!’ called out his father to the servants, ‘fetch the best clothes and put them on him! Put a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet, and get that calf we’ve fattened and kill it, and we will have a feast and a celebration! For this is my son—I thought he was dead, and he’s alive again. I thought I had lost him, and he’s found!’ And they began to get the festivities going.
25-32 “But his elder son was out in the fields, and as he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants across to him and enquired what was the meaning of it all. ‘Your brother has arrived, and your father has killed the calf we fattened because he has got him home again safe and sound,’ was the reply. But he was furious and refused to go inside the house. So his father came outside and called him. Then he burst out, ‘Look, how many years have I slaved for you and never disobeyed a single order of yours, and yet you have never given me so much as a young goat, so that I could give my friends a dinner? But when that son of yours arrives, who has spent all your money on prostitutes, for him you kill the calf we’ve fattened!’ But the father replied, ‘My dear son, you have been with me all the time and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and show our joy. For this is your brother; I thought he was dead—and he’s alive. I thought he was lost—and he is found!’”

This is a tale of two sons, both wanting to have nice things and enjoy life
but only one of them comes to love, to know the joy of being loved
Both sons had so much
a loving father and home
many, many nice things
but it was not enough for either of them

So the one demanded his share of his father's wealth and then abandonded him
he sought adventure, pleasure and fun
He found it... for a while

Then he found deprivation, hunger, alienation, shame and desperation

He came to a truthful acknowledgement of his own selfish and destructive choices
He acknowledged that all along he had a Father who loved him 
and would do what was right to take care of him

He saw both himself and his Father in a new and more truthful way

He summoned up the courage to return home
to face whatever was to come
to clearly state his own behavior as wrong
to admit the damage he had done to the relationship 

He was willing to do whatever it would take to make things right in time

What he found was beyond belief -
joy in his return
love for his person
forgiveness for his wrongs
absolution of his debt
a return to his place in the family

What was his response?
How could it be anything other than joy, pure joy
grace, gratitude and amazement
knowing he deserved none of this
deserved lots of things he was not getting 
getting lots of things he did not deserve

The joy of being loved,deeply truly loved for no reason at all other than 
A Father's love

The other son also wanted all the nice things around him and a good time with his friends
But he never found it
He felt like a slave 
he didn't feel like he got what he deserved
He thought he was okay and would get it eventually
until his brother returned
and the father lavished the best they had 
on another
He even refers to his brother as "your other son"

He had missed developing a relationship of love with his father and with his brother
He had lived all those years not enjoying what was right there all the time
the deep and wonderful love of such a father

He was doing what he did for what it would get him
not out of love for such a Father

Oh, Lord
help me 
not to miss YOU
YOU in all things
YOU above all things
YOU more than anything

YOU are here
right now 
right here 
yearning to love me
deeply
truly 

Both sons thought the treasure was the stuff that belonged to the Father
But only one discovered that the real treasure was
the Father himself
to be enjoyed
right here
right now

 ‘My dear son, you have been with me all the time and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and show our joy. For this is your brother; I thought he was dead—and he’s alive. I thought he was lost—and he is found!’”

John 14:1-7 Phillips
14 1-4 “You must not let yourselves be distressed—you must hold on to your faith in God and to your faith in me. There are many rooms in my Father’s House. If there were not, should I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? It is true that I am going away to prepare a place for you, but it is just as true that I am coming again to welcome you into my own home, so that you may be where I am. You know where I am going and you know the road I am going to take.”
“Lord,” Thomas remonstrated, “we do not know where you’re going, and how can we know what road you’re going to take?”
6-7 “I myself am the road,” replied Jesus, “and the truth and the life. No one approaches the Father except through me. If you had known who I am, you would have known my Father. From now on, you do know him and you have seen him.”
J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)
J. B. Phillips, "The New Testament in Modern English", 1962 edition by HarperCollins







Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Desperate Faith

"21 Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. 22 A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”
23 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”
24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”
25 The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.
26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”
27 “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”
28 Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment."

Matthew 15:21-28New International Version (NIV)


 She came to Jesus

because need drove her

She had no one else who could possibly help
She had no other option
She had no other possiblity 
or any other hope

She knew she was not enough
to meet the need of another

She had never met HIM
or knew HIM
but she had heard of HIM

and believed

The only other option 
was despair


She came to him
driven by love
for another

driven by the suffering
of  seeing her loved one
suffer 
torment
upon 
torment
on and on 
over and over

She came
she pursued
she sought out
she would not 
be turned away

by anything


Why did Jesus not respond to her at first?

I do not know

she did not know

But still she continued to seek and pursue HIM


Why did Jesus only respond after the others complained about her?

I do not know

she did not know

but still she continued to seek and pursue HIM


He answered her in what seems so gruff,, rejecting, and final

Why did he speak thus to her?

I do not know

she did not know

but still she continued to seek and pursue HIM


She talked back to Jesus
and he commended her

A crumb
that is all I am asking
a crumb
because YOU are SO GREAT
that will be ENOUGH

Say whatever you will say or do 
or not say or do
 to me
I will not stop pursuing you

"Lord to whom shall we go?
You have the words of eternal life"
John 6:68 KJV


I get so confused about persisting in coming to YOU in prayer...
Do you just want us to be pigheaded and stubborn?
relentlessly pestering you to death 
with my cries and requests?

But You did not say to this woman. "Great is your endurance"
"great is your patience"
"great is your stubborness"

You said, 'Great is your faith.'

Yes, I want things of you
I want you to listen to my heart 
and do what I so earnestly long for

but I am so afraid to really pray for what I desire
because there really is no way to do this safely

prayer is the verbalizing
and
articulating
of what is deep within

the admitting of what I long for

the words come out with my heart still attatched to them

What if you do not answer the way I want?
What if you do not answer when I want?
What if you do not answer me at all?
What if I don't even know what the answer is that you are giving to me?
What if your answer is no
to what I feel desperate about
to what I feel that I just cannot do without

And so I remain in the no man's land 
of vague generalities
requests framed like statements in a fortune cookie
so that no matter what happens
I can stay somewhat emotionally "safe"

But you pushed this woman beyond
beyond caring what anyone else thought
beyond even a seemingly unfavorable response from you

You pushed her to stake her all
on YOU

not on any guarentee she would get what she was asking for

but on who YOU ARE
You will give what is good
somehow
 in time

You may not give me what I want
when I want it
But you long to always give me 
YOURSELF

The Lord is near to those who call upon him
to those who call upon him in truth.
Psalm 145:18 NIV

This is the voice of a man who calls out:
"Prepare in the desert
the way for the Lord.
Make the road in the dry lands 
straight for our God. 
Every valley should be raised up. 
Every mountain and hills should be made flat,
The rough ground should be made level. 
The rugged ground sold be made smooth.
Then the glory of the Lord will be shown. 
All people together will see it. 
The Lord himself said these things."
Isaiah 40 :3-5 ICB

Yes, 
even these desperate needs
are an opportunity 
to prepare my heart 
for your coming
in

Oh Lord, help me to not try to keep you at a distance
keepng all the pain
all the desperate desires and longings
bottled up inside of me
and away from you

Help me to open my heart to you
in the midst of this desperation
this deep grief, disappointment,
confusion or desire

no matter what the situation 
or what others are saying or thinkig or doing
help me 
to trust in you
in who you are
not anything else

to rest in you
to know your presence and your love in my heart

to commune with you all that is in my heart
nothing hidden
nothing reserved

to open the depths of my being to your depths of love

to know you in the deep

"Deep calls unto deep
at the noise of your waterfalls
All your waves and billows have gone over me."
Psalm 42:7 NKJV


yes
this is where you get you glory
you will transform my inner life
and others will see your greatness
and be drawn to YOU
your
beauty,
grace, 
wisdom,
love,
compassion
and power.

Praise you Lord!

Every valley should be raised up. 
Every mountain and hills should be made flat,
The rough ground should be made level. 
The rugged ground sold be made smooth.
Then the glory of the Lord will be shown. 
All people together will see it. 
The Lord himself said these things."
Isaiah 40 :4-5 ICB

Friday, February 6, 2015

I want

I Want

"I want, dear Lord, a heart that’s true and clean;
a sunlit heart, with not a cloud between;
a heart like Thine, a heart divine, a heart as white as snow;
on me, dear Lord, a heart like this bestow."
from the hymn by 
George Jackson 
full hymn at link below
listen at 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgXl14yD3p8

http://www.singaporebaptistchurch.sg/worship/english/I%20want%20dear%20Lord%20a%20heart%20that2019s%20true%20and%20clean.htm

Psalm 51:10New International Reader's Version (NIRV)
 God, create a pure heart in me.

    Give me a new spirit that is faithful to you.

Oh Lord, 
Help me to want YOU
more than
I want
what I want

Help me to want YOU
more than
I want
to be loved 
to be accepted 
to be respected
to be desired 
to feel that I belong
to feel significant

Oh Lord help me
to want 
YOU
more
than I want 
what I want:

to feel safe,
comfortable,
cared for,
provided for

YOU are infinitely 
more
than anything 
I long for 
and earnestly desire

O Lord, 
help me 
not to pursue 
these things
apart from you

trying to be master of my own destiny
god of my own life
and sphere

this is ilusion
delusion
insanity
"There is no peace for the wicked"
Isaiah 57:21

You asked the man by the pool for 38 years,
"Do you want to get well?"
He answererd, I have no one to help me get into the pool
Like this man, I keep wishing for
and trying to change my circumstances
my relationships
believing that then all will be well
or at least better
if this
or that
could just change

But you stood there
with the love, power and care to
truly heal this man
both inside and out

"Do you want to get well?"

Do you want ME 
or just someone to seemingly fix your life?

Do I want YOU more than I want wellness?
Or do I want you to just give me what I want
 so I can be on my own way?

"We all have wandered away like sheep.
Each of us has gone his own way. 
But the Lord has put
on him
the punishment 
for all the evil we have done."
Isaiah 53:6 International Childrens Bible


They are not really separate, you know
You are wellness
You are Love
You are Peace
You are Wisdom
Goodness
Strength
Security

YOU are the source
the fountain

None of this,
including my own longings
would be here
without you

yet, when I seek these things 
without acknowledging they come from you
When I seek them and not YOU
I am putting the cart before the horse

Truth is Lord,
I would really like to be whole and healthy
and loved and content
and significant 
without 
you

without having to trust in you
to listen to you
to acknowledge your authority 
without 
having to talk with you 
or know you at all

I would like
to be my own boss
the little god of my own little universe

I would like to use you 
as the means to my own ends
to get what I want from you 
and not have to be willing 
to change 
or give up my imagined autonomy

Thank you
Thank you
you love me to much to let me go 
this way to my own destruction
apart from you

"There is a way that seems right to a person
but its end is the way of death."
Proverbs 14:12

"He sent his word and healed them 
from their own destructions."
Psalm 107:20 NKJV


You don't come to heal
you don't come to comfort and guide
you don't come to make me feel better
or give me a nice life

You come because YOU LOVE ME
deeply 
passionately
intimately 
personally

I cannot remain the same 
if I recieve 
YOU
and
your love

It will change
shatter
transform 
heal

not a smooth or easy process

O Lord, help me to truly know YOU
to love YOU 
more
than I want to just have a nice day
or just have a nice life

help me to 
not be swept away 
from what is eternal
lasting
real
and profound
by what is temporal
short, fleeting and 
immediate

whatI feelright now!

I am afraid, Lord,
because that is what I really want to do
just go about my day
with all the resource I need
with no thought of you whatsoever

just to be able to stay in my own little world
to draw you into my world
so I can have what I want from you

but not to have to have my little glass sphere shattered
so I can move out of it
and into 
YOU

 YOU
who wants all of me

because you want me
to have all of YOU

nothing less

 bring me 
to where I love YOU
more than
anything else

to where 
I want
YOU

to pour out all that I want 
at your feet

to place my deepest desires and longings
hurts and hopes
in your loving and 
faithful hands

I might lose everything I have ever loved
and hoped in
but YOU
YOU are the one thing
I can never lose

in this world
and the next

Psalm 16:9-11
So, I rejoice, and I am glad.
Even my body has hope.
This is beause you will not leave me
in the grave.
You will not let your holy one rot.

You will teach me God's way to live.
Being with you will fill me with joy.
At your right hand I will find pleasure forever.

Praise you!




words of hope and comfort along this theme at

http://heartshomeward.blogspot.com/2015/02/pick-up-your-mat.html

http://www.mercyisnew.com/2015/02/06/lord-waits-gracious/

Inspired by the sermon on John 5 "Healing at the Pool"
http://www.sbcommunity.org/sermons/index/0/0/0/84/#recordings