but a desire fulfilled
is a tree of life"
Proverbs 13:12 ESV
When God does grant a deep desire of the heart...
He wants to make me a beautiful,
life giving, constantly renewing
beautiful tree
like a lovely jacaranda tree
with profuse lavender blooms
that fill the air with sweet perfume
and cascade down to carpet with softness
and stunning beauty
He wants to make me a beautiful,
life giving, constantly renewing
beautiful tree
like a lovely jacaranda tree
with profuse lavender blooms
that fill the air with sweet perfume
and cascade down to carpet with softness
and stunning beauty
But how easily my heart drifts from you when you bless me so
and how insidiously fear creeps in
How can my heart be kept
when all I have earnestly longed for
is before me?
Suffering draws me out of myself like the warmth and light of the sun
causing the petals on a flower to open and expand outward
need of you draws me out of myself
soaking in your life giving rays
bringing life and beauty
providing nector to others
providing nector to others
right here where I am
But when what I really really want does actually happen,
I feel myself closing, folding inward
wanting to withdraw again
deep into myself
to grasp onto
what has brought joy,
pleasure,
love,
affection,
calm.
pleasure,
love,
affection,
calm.
But in that
instinctive impulse
I lose you
and become unwilling to be vulnerable again
to take a risk
to extend myself in fragility with you
I want to take my treasure and go bury it away in a deep dark hole
where no one can ever take it away from me again
The sunlight fades
the beauty dies
there is no longer nourishment in me to give out
I become shriveled
withered
dying
I become shriveled
withered
dying
Oh how I need you
when I know that I need you
when I know that I need you
when I feel so desperately that I need you
Oh how I still need you even more when I no longer feel desperate, alone
forsaken and overwhelmed
I need you but might not seek you
might try to seek life apart from you
How you want to give, to bless, to love
to enjoy fellowship and communion with us
How easily we forget about you
don't make time for you
ignore your words
take you for granted
treat you in a careless flippant, disposable way
You want a relationship that had moved beyond what you can do for me
You want to know and be known
Not for what you offer
or what you give
or what you can do
but for who you are
21 "Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things".
22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things".
Romans 1:21-23 KJV
25' Who changed the truth of God into a lie,
and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator,
who is blessed for ever. Amen".
Romans 1:25 KJV
and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator,
who is blessed for ever. Amen".
Romans 1:25 KJV
To glorify you
To thank you
to give you the proper place of God in my life
you are God
you are God
I am not god
I am not
to offer praise and thanksgiving for each and every blessing that you give
acknowledges that it is your gift
your blessing
your love
you are the source
you are the Sun
from which all life depends
I cannot live without you
no matter how blessed you have made me
Oh Lord, give me a grateful heart to acknowledge you are everything
and everything you give is but a gift
give me clarity to see that whether gifts come or go
you always remain
you are the same
you are all
"He said, "Naked I came from my mother;s womb,
and naked shall I return there;
the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
and naked shall I return there;
the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
blessed be the name of the Lord"
Job 1:21 NRSV
Job 1:21 NRSV
the one healed leper who returned to give you thanks
acknowledging you and your wonder
acknowledging you and your wonder
it is a fight to remain vulnerable
to be content with you
in difficult deprivation,
devastating disappointment or
bountiful blessing
to trust you to keep my heart in blessing
and to keep my heart in suffering
only you can help me hold You the source
of all I truly need
you, the Sun
only you can help me stay open
as a fragile flower
vulnerable
flexible
feeling
caring
engaged
connected
human
alive
nourished and
nourishing
To receive whatever you give
to give it back to you
to hang on to you
soaking in your awe
wonder and love
You are beautiful
you make your beauty
shine in me
Bless you for this post from Ann Voskamp
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/08/when-you-are-broken-the-now-traumatic-disorder-of-everyday-life/
"11 I am not saying this because I am in need,
for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
12 I know what it is to be in need,
and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content
in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry,
whether living in plenty or in want.
13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles."Philippians 4:11-14
to be content with you
in difficult deprivation,
devastating disappointment or
bountiful blessing
to trust you to keep my heart in blessing
and to keep my heart in suffering
only you can help me hold You the source
of all I truly need
you, the Sun
only you can help me stay open
as a fragile flower
vulnerable
flexible
feeling
caring
engaged
connected
human
alive
nourished and
nourishing
To receive whatever you give
to give it back to you
to hang on to you
soaking in your awe
wonder and love
You are beautiful
you make your beauty
shine in me
Bless you for this post from Ann Voskamp
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/08/when-you-are-broken-the-now-traumatic-disorder-of-everyday-life/
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